Offspring has been deployed.
To Afghanistan.
Imagine my joy.
Don’t stop now – keep reading!
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Tucking and Unfucking
For everyone else in the northern hemisphere, summer is getting its last licks in.
For me, haunt season is looming. Plans are being made, supplies purchased, and I’m soaking up as much of Husband’s time and attention as I can get while we’re still on the same schedule.
Demon Rights
Offspring recommended Detroit: Become Human so of course I fired it up… and binged that shit so hard; I finished faster than I think I’ve ever finished any game of any genre. I laughed, I cried, I was extremely uncomfortable—I became the leader the Android Rights movement needed.
Shown: thankful androids
Which makes it all the more awkward to report that I may have to chuck that damned Demon Box in the bin.
She’s getting too uppity, you know?
Potato Potantso
This is how little sense he makes: he actually believes that grocery shopping is fundamentally different from grocery shopping.
I know, right? I mean… honestly, I deserve some sort of award for putting up with that sort of lunacy day in and day out for as long as I have.
Do you have one full of chocolates instead?
Thankfully I have you, and you agree with me, so that’s alright then.
I see we have some new readers with us today. Doubters. People who haven’t been with us on this long journey and therefore will demand an explanation. Fine, I’ll catch you up. But for the dedicated reader, go ahead and skip to the bottom—I’ll leave something fun down there just for you, since I know you understand me without having to slog through all this.
vs. The Vacuum
What with one thing and another, we’ve been making heavy use of professional pet sitters recently (I found a service that lets me book online, without ever speaking to another human, but still sends the same actual human every time to take care of my furry darlings; basically, it’s the antisocial control-freak’s ideal and every business should adopt this model) which exposed a few unkempt corners around the house as well as kicking up a few dustbunnies within my psyche.
He’s Not Dead… Yet
Knock Before Entering
What with one thing and another, moving—both in budget and in planning—didn’t happen on our original schedule. This means we signed another lease (we can wiggle out of it… I think) but more importantly, we still live with the damned Meth Ghosts.
Who, by the way, have stepped up their game.
Rule 1: Ghosts lie.
