The Secret

 

I’m here today to illustrate for you the difference between us and so-called “normal” couples. 

Debbie Reynolds promises, "Being normal is vastly overrated"

 

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Everyday Motherhood

 

If you’re in the US, Sunday was Mother’s Day.

 

If you’re elsewhere in the world, Mother’s Day was probably on a whole ‘nother day months ago.  Wikipedia informs me there are like a billion Mother’s Days and basically this is one of the few times I’m glad to have the shit mother I was born with because my brain ferrets went nuts when they saw that list and started insisting that we should celebrate all the dates.  With themesAND COSTUMES

 

clipart of costumed multicultural children from Disney's Small World ride

 

My brain ferrets are not culturally sensitive.   

 

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Marvel Spoilers (not really): My Favorite Scenes from Infinity War

 

I am aware that some of you haven’t seen Avengers: Infinity War yet, and I’m sorry for you.  Because it’s amazing and hilarious and totally worth the price of admission* and, frankly, you’re running out of time to avoid spoilers from even decent people.

 

Right about now you’re wondering: am I a decent person?  About me, I mean.  You might be wondering it about you, but… look, I don’t have time to sort out your shit right now because I’m trying to tell people all about my favorite parts of Infinity War without spoiling it entirely, okay? 

 

So here they are, my favorite scenes from the movie, in no particular order.

 

Oh, and if you’ve already seen the movie don’t worry—I’ve included a few of my favorite deleted scenes just to keep it fresh.

 

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Meet Darth Vader

 

The Stupid Cat is still not accepting Ham.

 

awesome orange cat snuggles weird cat loaf in sunbeam

This just in: photographs lie.

 

I thought we’d made progress when, one day, she voluntarily snuggled with him on the Favorite Ottoman.  I even grabbed the camera and snapped a couple dozen photos of The Moment They Became Friends.  Alas, only a few days later she was in his bed under my desk (oh yeah, he has a bed under my desk because close to me is his favorite place to be) and growling at him for coming by. 

 

Bitch.

 

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