Not Pony Tails or Cotton Tails


Well, dear devoted followers, it is done.


Not Dishonored 2, I spent twenty goddamned hours trying to ghost my way through one mission (you’ll know it if you’ve been there) and then tried to peel my own face off when I saw my Final Stats screen reporting that two bodies had been found.  I am still debating whether to lodge a formal complaint about that, because it’s bullshit.  There’s no way any of those bodies were found.  No.  Fucking.  Way.  Someone would have had to have been moving furniture, and that’s just not a thing that underpaid guards who have muttered arguments with themselves over whether they know the whole alphabet do on their nightly rounds of a creepy-ass mansion.   Basically, if any of you happen to know someone at Bethesda, let them know that I’m looking for them, that I want answers, and that I know a good hiding spot with room for another twenty or thirty bodies, easy.

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

Come On, Get Happy (NEM #40)


Is everyone else hung over and treading the waters of Denial this unholy Saturday?  Well, I can’t do much about whatever’s making you miserable, anxious, and stabby toward 18% of the adult population (rough estimation, someone find a sober mathematician to check my figures), but I can offer you… clowns!


Shut up, this one’s actually pretty deep… and it just keeps making more piles.


As always, I will ask that all new readers place their non-wine-swilling hand on the mouse and click the Not Exactly Motivational link.  This is for your own good, you know: it’s the best way for you to figure out what the holy fuck is wrong with me before you click onward and get a faceful of Saturday.  For the previously initiated, I present the humble “more” tag, below.

Motivate me!

Trading Tinsel for Chocolate


I don’t have a picture of my Christmas tree the week before it came down, because it seemed morbid to photograph its last wretched days.  You’ll have to trust me on this point: it was looking pretty miserable – any internet comments section would have diagnosed it with depression, possibly bipolar, and started prescribing meds, with at least one wandering moron insisting that it just had Asperger’s and we should all leave it alone.


never go to the comments section


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Don’t Blink (NEM #39)


Happy lazy Saturday, everyone!  


Unless you have dogs.  Dogs are great companions, but not so good at reading a calendar, so you probably woke up about the same time you always do.


Unless you have cats.  Cats are assholes who can absolutely read a calendar, which means you probably woke up even earlier than usual.*


Okay, enough about your pets – they’re cute and all, but we came here to get motivated, right?  Right.  Well, some of you did.  If you know the score, just click like you always do and go look right now.**  If you’ve never been here before: there’s no scary paperwork or waiver, but you do have to click the Not Exactly Motivational link first, just so you can’t ever say nobody warned you.  That’ll also help you catch up, in case that’s a thing you’re into.  


Motivate me!

At Home With My Patrice


By far, the most wonderful thing about having Husband home lately has been the extra quality time.  Seriously, we’re snuggling and talking more and bonding and really enjoying each other’s company in a way that reassures me that we won’t be one of those couples who suddenly realizes they’ve nothing in common once the kids move out.  Which is good, because we’ve only got the one and he’s moving out soon and I’m dead set against having another just to save the marriage.  


cost of diapers vs cost of champagne


Don’t stop now – keep reading!