My Gym Rat

 

This week contains my last few “normal” days before I begin terrorizing the citizens of St. Louis every single night,[1] which means I’m spending whatever little bits of time I can with Husband—cuddling, sitting with him while he finally watches Mindhunter,[2] and taking care of some projects we foolishly put off until the least convenient season.

 

Yes, I really want to tell you about one of them, but I can’t.  It’s too big (and not at a shareable stage yet).  We’ll get there, I promise.

 

But my altered schedule makes my nightly call with Offspring easier; most nights I just call him when I’m on my way home to wash the blood out of my hair.[3]

(Ready or Not) Bride in torn, burned, bloody wedding dress, covered in blood spatter, hair matted with blood and grit, giggles.

 

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Drama Confidential

 

It is very frustrating for me, as you know, to have… things… going on here—important things—of which I cannot keep you informed.

 

But every time I reach for my phone or laptop in a blind rage about The Thing I’m just about tackled by Husband and a full legal team.

Man in suit making shh gesture (finger to lips)

 

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Meet… My Anxiety

 

Let’s talk about Anxiety.

animated letters spell ANXIETY surrounded by squiggles and scribbles and arrows

 

First of all, as successfully evolved humans, we all have some.  That’s why we’re alive and the unsuccessful models that preceded us are not.  When a strange silence fell over the forest, our ancestors tensed and slid into the shadows just in case; we are the descendants of those who, when confronted with a new thing, let someone else try it first in case it was just a fancy new way to die horribly.[1]

Have a problem? Overthink it! No problems? Overthink 'til you find one! (by tijanac)

 

What we call anxiety is just our poor highly-evolved brains trying desperately to keep us alive in a world that’s not actually trying to kill us anymore.[2]

 

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It’s Gotta Be The Sand

 

While my weird hours leave me almost no time for Husband, they do make it much more convenient for me to chat with Offspring; I’m not staying up for him anymore, if anything he’s staying up for me.

 

Which means I’ve got more info on the life of PFC Squdgee Booboo than I do on your favorite engineer.

 

And I’m sure you won’t be surprised which one is currently experiencing overwhelming job dissatisfaction.

army meme: Jumps out of a perfectly good aircraft with a parachute packed by a 19 year old; forced to wear a reflective belt while raking dirt. (pair of soldiers raking dirt in hi-vis safety belts)

 

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