The Drama and Death of “I love you more”

The following is a typical exchange, of the nauseatingly cute sort you’ve never had but I’m sure you know a couple who did this before you were hospitalized for dehydration and insulin shock and, consequently, filed the restraining order that kept those annoying bastards at bay.

 

cute puking kitten

I’ll even add a cute kitten to express your disgust.

ME: I love you!

HIM: I love you too.

ME: Yeah, but I love you more.

HIM: No, I love you more.

 

And so on.

 

Now, that’s perfectly adorable, right? I actually feel you hating me a bit right now for starting that shit up and then admitting to you that I’ve done it.

Well, my husband recently voiced an objection, and it’s not even the one you’ve got. He thinks it’s unhealthy to turn “I love you” into a competition.

First of all, EVERYTHING is a competition.

Second? Pfft. He’s just pissed that I’m winning.

But, being the good and loving wife that I am, I’ve decided to stop responding to his avowal of love with the one-up. Naturally, I still can’t let him have the last word – what sort of precedent would that set? So I’ve had to arm myself with some prepared responses. Hilarity ensued.

ME: I love you!
HIM: I love you too.
ME: As well you should.

 

ME: I love you!
HIM: I love you too.
ME: Tch. Copycat

 

ME: I love you!
HIM: I love you too.
ME: Yay, I win!

 

ME: I love you!
HIM: I love you too.
ME: Well, that’s understandable. I mean, I’m as cute as a button.

 

ME: I love you!
HIM: I love you too.
ME: Enough to make dinner?

 

ME: I love you!
HIM: I love you too.
ME: Really? Wow, I was just trying to get into your pants…
HIM: Me too.

 

ME: I love you!
HIM: I love you too.
ME: That’s ‘cuz I’m pretty

 

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This entry was posted in Blog.

One comment on “The Drama and Death of “I love you more”

  1. You’re hilarious! So glad I found you’re blog (even if it means you “statistically wouldn’t like me”) ha!

    Liked by 1 person

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