He’s Baaaaack

So my husband is home again, and predictably I was so thrilled to get him back that I totally forgot to tell the internet about it.

My bad.

Naturally, having him home again required some adjustment on my part

(I’m in bed, snuggled diagonally across and using his pillow)
HIM:  Move over
ME:  No.
HIM:  Move over! I need to get in and I want to use MY pillow!
ME:  (moving) FINE! Sheesh, I don’t know why you’re complaining about this NOW… you didn’t have a problem with me sleeping like this all week!
HIM: (laughing)
HIM: Wait… was that all just a setup? (laughs harder)
ME: (proud) Yup. I pulled a you. You’re right, that’s fun!


So I slept for a few days, clinging to my man like a limpet and insisting that he spend far more time in bed than was reasonable, and we eased back into our usual rhythm, complete with the snoring and the sleep-talking.


She does it with both; that’s why she makes the big bucks. Yes, that’s the only difference

HIM:  Did I fall asleep?
ME:  Well, I kept waking you up with kisses to get you to stop snoring…. so, yes.
HIM:  No, the correct answer was, “for a little while.”
ME:  (cue Sarcastic Eyebrow™)
HIM:  And I don’t snore.


But I really felt like the family was back together Saturday morning, when I had to wake up at a hellish hour to get animals taken care of before people came to pick up the foster dog.  I am, as we’ve previously mentioned, not a morning person.  Me waking up looks less like Sleeping Beauty and more like a vampire with a paper route.  So I need a little extra help getting out of bed when there’s not a medical, urgent, need to do so.  Naturally, when my alarm went off, Husband helped out by rolling over and snuggling/pinning me.  I hit the snooze twice and then got serious.


ME: Are you going to get up and help me with the dogs?
HIM: (noise)
ME: I can’t tell if that’s a yeah or a hell no
HIM: (noise)
ME: (smack) are you going to help me with the dogs or not?
HIM: Yeah
ME: (realizing he could bend that either way) I need to know which. Are you helping me or staying in bed?
HIM: Yes
ME: God dammit, are you getting up to help me?
HIM: …. Yeah.
ME: (flops back, groaning)
HIM: It’s not MY fault you ask the wrong questions!


Oh, goodie. He’s back.


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