Have you ever wondered what it’s like to spend an evening with us? Have you ever, whilst going about your ordered, green-lawned existence* found your mind wandering to that magical opportunity to ride in a car with the two of us while we, having brilliantly skipped lunch because we couldn’t agree on what to eat or where to go, distract ourselves from the critical questions of where to go and how to get there?
Well, wonder no longer!
ME: (pointing at a house as we pass) They still have their lights up.
HIM: See? We weren’t the last ones. Theirs are even lit, too.
ME: It’s 7:30. They’re on a timer.
HIM: They’re multicolored lights, though. So they might be Easter lights.
ME: That’s not a thing.
HIM: That should totally be a thing.
ME: You just want to get out of taking the lights down ever again.
HIM: That doesn’t make it wrong!
nb; our Christmas lights have, in fact, been taken down and safely packed away, so that next year we may repeat the cycle of discovering that they don’t work and that I still haven’t bought the testing tool and ultimately deciding to replace them all one more time.
Traditions are important.
But! You clicked here wondering about the restaurant issue, and whether we ever actually arrived. Which…
HIM: See, I came this way instead of going down Potomac, which is where I think you were suggesting.
ME: Uh-huh. Sofa king hungry.
HIM: Yeah, but I saved us a whole minute, even with traffic!
ME: I don’t believe you.
HIM: That’s probably because I’m lying.
*Okay, I’m only going to say this one more time: the bottle had a picture of a dandelion on it. How was I to know that Roundup kills everything if it only shows dandelions on the bottle? Oh, fine. You’re so clever, you come do the yard. Go on, I’m waiting.