What’s For Dinner?

 

What sound do you fear the most?

 

What sound causes you to freeze in your tracks, your muscles locking down as your neck votes for flight and the arches of your feet tense for fight?

 frightened eyes in the dark

 

When Husband and I met, we were independent, fully capable adults who managed to feed ourselves daily – sometimes more than once.  In fact, he cooked two of his “never fail date meals” for me before we even dated, and I cured him of his turkey aversion simply by carving in front of him

 

 

ME:  I made turkey – I mean, it’s one of those just-the-breast deals, but.  You want some?
HIM:  No thanks.  I don’t actually like turkey.
ME:  Okay.  (starts carving up the remainder to put away)
HIM:  What’s that?
ME:  … Tur-key?
HIM:  But.
ME:  ?
HIM:  It’s wet.  Why’s it all wet?*
ME:  (sighs) Let me get you a plate.

 

HIMYM spraying Lily "moist" scene

 

So clearly, we’re perfectly capable of going to the grocery store, buying foodstuffs (ingredients, as opposed to food – and there is a difference; if you don’t believe me, ask a college student) and using the kitchen to produce a meal that is nutritious and edible.

 

Why, then, do we end up with so many takeout containers in the bin every week?

 

Well, there’s the classic “what’s for dinner” discussion, which goes something like this:

 

 

HIM:  What’s the dinner plan?
ME:  How about one of these perfectly easy and convenient options?
HIM:  No, none of those.
ME:  Then you suggest something.
HIM:  Fine.
(two hours later)
HIM:  So, seriously, what’s the dinner plan?
ME:  (incoherent screaming)

 

scream of demonic torment

 

 

What’s that?  You want specifics?

 

 Where, oh where is the trust?

 

 

HIM:  Taco Tuesday?
ME:  We’re having duck tonight, but we could make duck tacos!
HIM:  (pulls face)
ME:  What?
HIM:  I’m not a fan.
ME:  Of duck tacos?
HIM:  Of duck.  You know I don’t like duck.
ME:  There’s something wrong with you.
HIM:  That’s why I made the duck face.
ME:  Dammit!
HIM:  (laughing) I love you!
ME:  Prove it.
HIM:  (duck face)
ME:  NO!

 

 

Because he works so far from home, I do ask that Husband call or text me when he’s leaving work so that I can either start dinner or have him pick something up on the way home.  This was a brilliant plan of mine, if I do say so myself, and it’s been working great.

 

When he follows the plan.

 

 

HIM:  So what’s the dinner plan?
ME:  …
HIM:  (flops into my favorite green chair wearing an expectant look)
ME:  Right.  At 5:00 I had a dinner plan and you were like “nope, I’m coming straight home!” and then you were here and it was “sorry, got to go change and then sit here and stare at the internet” and now it’s 6:34 and you want food in or on your face or maybe just rubbed directly on your belly – applied topically, what the hell – and you want that to happen without any involvement or effort on your part.  Have I got that about right?
HIM:  Yeah.  Let me narrow it down for you, though.
ME:  Okay.
HIM:  The food should go in my belly.  Through my mouth.
ME:  (headdesk)

Merida head-desking

 

 

 

What’s the sound that sends your will to live running for the hills?

 

For me, it’s the voice of the man I love more than lilacs and chocolate innocently asking me,

 

“What’s the dinner plan?”

 

 frightened eyes

 

 

 

 

*I didn’t fully understand for a few years.  Until I had his mother’s turkey.  It was like watching someone cut plaster.  Old plaster.  In a dusty room.  It was basically a sandcastle turkey.

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7 comments on “What’s For Dinner?

  1. josypheen says:

    If you get home first, can you not just decide and then he has to eat whatever you’ve made? If he doesn’t like it he can make himself a sandwich. Then they’d be less stress, but you’d have more decisions.

    Then, on days when you can’t get home early it becomes his husbandly duty to forage, make decisions and make food for you. 🙂

    *Sandcastle turkey should not be allowed!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, this was back when he worked an hour away and couldn’t be arsed to tell me WHEN he’d be home. Yeah. So I could make whatever, but then it’d sit there and be cold by the time he’d get home, or I’d plan on a later supper and he’d come in before I started and want to know what I was planning and demand veto power. Ah, the joys of a long-ass commute…

      Liked by 1 person

      • josypheen says:

        This sounds like my husband too!
        I mostly give up and eat before him if he’s near a deadline, as I get sooo hungry waiting for him!!

        Like

  2. My husband has a habit of saying, “What’s for dinner again?” just as he is getting up from the breakfast table!
    I usually reply,” You know there is a another meal before dinner don’t you?”
    I swear the man has food security issues!
    Glad to see that I’m not the only one who hates that question. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A.J. Sefton says:

    Don’t eat turkey and hate the sight of it on the table! Hate when people ask what’s for dinner, as does my other half.

    Liked by 1 person

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