I am going to do something unexpected: I’m going to tell you our real names.
Gotcha! But, if you happen to play Elder Scrolls Online, then you might know us as Osinor and Galerand.*
Probably not, actually. It’s a big damned world, after all. But if you happen to see those two out and about, that’s us.
We just spent the entire long weekend playing basically nonstop, in preparation for the Dark Brotherhood DLC release. So if you saw two Kajiit clawing and slashing their way across Tamriel like those Daedra owed them money, or maybe leveling was their new religion… that was definitely us. This came about because two weeks ago we were talking about the upcoming release and I said, “I’ll bet we could get another pair to 50 before then.” He did some quick math and said, “Only if we start right now.”
Reason #752 why I love that man.
HIM: Are you ready to kill Undead and absorb magicka?
ME: Basically always, yeah.
HIM: I mean the quest step.
ME: Oh. No, I gotta talk to the guy.
HIM: So go do that.
ME: K! (races off)
HIM: (sighs) Give me the crown, so you can find your way back.**
ME: You’re not the boss of me!
HIM: I will be once you give me the crown!
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea: it wasn’t all killing all the time. I stopped to help people too! For example, sometimes they had too much stuff…
ME: So…. I’ve been consulting with the local merchants on some security matters, and now I need to find a…. laundry facility. Ahem.
HIM: You need a thieves den.
ME: … I… may need to make change while I’m at the laundry, yes.
HIM: Behind the forge.
ME: Where’s the forge?
HIM: The smithy.
ME: Where’s the smithy??
HIM: (watching me on the map) That building ahead of you, to the right…. that’s the left.
ME: I know!
HIM: DO YOU???
But mostly, yes, we were killing things for fun and profit. And let me tell you that two DPS can work a zone until it begs for mercy. Which we did, because dammit we had a deadline!
HIM: We just ran through that guy’s fight. I tossed him a heal.
ME: Oh. I pounced on his fight and ended it.
HIM: … There’s two kinds of assholes, and we’re both of them.***
Now, I realize that not all of you have any idea what I’m talking about here. Maybe you’ve never played an MMO (you’re missing out) or you just don’t play ESO – but if you played Skyrim (and, statistically, since you’re on the internet you did play Skyrim) then you’ll love ESO.
HIM: Did you read the Mine Safety Documents?
ME: No…. Should I?
HIM: … I don’t even know what kind of question that was.
ME: There are zombies and actual ghosts wandering around.
HIM: They didn’t read the safety documents!
*We have many characters, actually, but those are our “mains”
**The group leader has a crown icon over their head and on the map, which makes them easier to find
***Disclaimer: there is no “kill stealing” in ESO, so I did not take any experience or loot from this player by suddenly joining their fight.