Oh, Am I Keeping YOU Up?



This has got to stop.


 this shit ends now


I’m serious.  I cannot possibly be expected to continue under these conditions.  Surely the United Nations will step in, or something, right?



I am referring, as always, to his cacophonous snoring.



It’s getting worse, you guys.  And I don’t know how much longer I can hold out without sleep.



But you want to know the worst part?  The worst is when he, having kept me up all night with his godawful sinus roar, whines to me.



HIM:  I’m really tired.
ME:  (freezes on my way out of the room; those in-tune with my moods would be able to detect the faint odor of ozone, as before a great storm)
HIM:  The light from your kindle kept me up for a few hours.
ME:  (carefully) Oh?
HIM:  (finally sensing peril) Yeah, I know I woke you up with the snoring and that’s why you were reading.
ME:  Uh-huh…
HIM:  So it’s probably not fair to mention it.
ME:  …
HIM:  And it’s not as bad as it used to be!*


 I'm out (puffin)


I suppose I should be grateful that he acknowledged his snoring…


Also, he’s got no cause for complaint with the kindle.  Because I’ve got the new one, with the blue shade filter for night reading (best feature ever!) and I keep the brightness turned way down and the tint almost all the way red so as to prevent migraines anyway.  So there’s just no way it was bothering him.









* The kindle light.  Not his snoring, oh no!  Even he won’t pretend that’s gotten better.




15 comments on “Oh, Am I Keeping YOU Up?

  1. Green Embers says:

    Okay, so this is going to read like a testimonial, but its cool. So I snore really bad too, I tried the nose strips and things, which were kind of a pain. Anyway, I did some research and discovered something called a wedge pillow. Ordered one from Amazon and have been using it for years. I sleep better and I snore less (my family has confirmed this). I take it everywhere! It’s super awkward, but it is so worth it. He might want to give that a try. (And I am a side sleeper and it works great that way too.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. OMG I feel stressed reading this! Similar situation in my house too…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ritu says:

    I’m so glad I don’t have a snorer lol! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. hehehe I could never live without my Kindle. And just to let you know, I’m pretty sure snoring is a good husbands way of expressing his LOVE even while he’s sleeping. It’s our way of reminding you that we’ll ALWAYS be there. RIGHT next to you.
    See you should be grateful 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. OMG! My husband is THE worst snorer every! About 5 years ago I discovered ear plugs and haven’t looked back. It probably saved our marriage. When you go to buy ear plugs you have to look at the decibels it blocks. Surprisingly, Kroger brand blocks better than name brand plugs. Here is the link: https://www.kroger.com/p/kroger-contoured-comfort-foam-ear-plugs/0004126036144

    Liked by 1 person

  6. my wife and I both snore. Its a race to see who can fall asleep first

    Liked by 1 person

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