This has got to stop.
I’m serious. I cannot possibly be expected to continue under these conditions. Surely the United Nations will step in, or something, right?
I am referring, as always, to his cacophonous snoring.
It’s getting worse, you guys. And I don’t know how much longer I can hold out without sleep.
But you want to know the worst part? The worst is when he, having kept me up all night with his godawful sinus roar, whines to me.
HIM: I’m really tired.
ME: (freezes on my way out of the room; those in-tune with my moods would be able to detect the faint odor of ozone, as before a great storm)
HIM: The light from your kindle kept me up for a few hours.
ME: (carefully) Oh?
HIM: (finally sensing peril) Yeah, I know I woke you up with the snoring and that’s why you were reading.
HIM: So it’s probably not fair to mention it.
HIM: And it’s not as bad as it used to be!*
I suppose I should be grateful that he acknowledged his snoring…
Also, he’s got no cause for complaint with the kindle. Because I’ve got the new one, with the blue shade filter for night reading (best feature ever!) and I keep the brightness turned way down and the tint almost all the way red so as to prevent migraines anyway. So there’s just no way it was bothering him.
* The kindle light. Not his snoring, oh no! Even he won’t pretend that’s gotten better.