Or I Could Just Break His Nose

 

 

I’m done with waiting for the sleep study.

 

Did you know that they’re booked up months in advance?

 

 

Tom Haverford, "This is america, I want it now!"

patience is NOT in my skill set.

 

Yeah.  It’s ridiculous.  I mean, how’s a girl supposed to get her beauty sleep?

 

It’s okay, we’re almost there and I’ve finally convinced him to try those strips.  How, you ask?

 

OFFSPRING:  I’ve finally managed to copy Dad’s snore.
ME:  Oh?
OFFSPRING:  Yeah, but to do it, I have to like… close off way deep in my nose (mimics snore almost perfectly)
HIM:  I don’t snore
ME:  (laughing) that’s pretty impressive.  (tries)  I can’t do it!
HIM:  I DON’T SNORE!
OFFSPRING:  The thing is, it can’t be good for him to have it all collapsed like that.  I mean, it’s really hard for me.
ME:  Good point.  Honey, maybe they’ll do that surgery where they widen the inside or whatever?
HIM:  ummm….
ME:  You know, you could try those strips, to see if that works.  They do the same thing, only from the outside.
HIM:  Do they?  Huh, I didn’t know that.  Let’s pick some up while we’re out.

 

Liz Lemon eyeroll

How could he have known?  I mean, I’ve only said it about 8000 times.

 

So he’s been using them for a couple of nights now, but I’m not sure he’s putting them on right.  Or maybe they slip off by the end?  I mean, it’s better, but…

 

 

HIM:  How’d you sleep?
ME:  Not good, actually.
HIM:  Snoring?
ME:  Nightmare.
HIM:  Of snoring?
ME:  No.
HIM:  Chainsaw killer?
ME:  Automatic gunfire, actually.
HIM:  I don’t snore that loud.
ME:  (o rly eyebrow)
HIM:  Well, it’s only been two nights.

 

 stop-snoring nose strip

 

 

 

 

 


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One comment on “Or I Could Just Break His Nose

  1. nerril says:

    Just nicely remind him you could always cover his face with a pillow until the snoring stops. xD

    Like

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