Since you’ve never been to my house (I’d have noticed) there’s something you probably don’t know about me.
Okay, several things, actually. You probably didn’t know that, given only one towel when I get out of the shower, I will dry off my legs and then wrap up my hair and march out of the bathroom, stark nekkid. But, see, you don’t know that because it’s totally irrelevant to anything I would ever post here.
The other, more pertinent fact about me is that I am extremely territorial. As much as I love having people over, I hate the bit where they wander around my home instead of staying right where I carefully arranged them. I don’t like people touching my things, or using them when I’m not around, even if it’s something that so-called “normal people” wouldn’t think twice about.
This brings me to my example.
No, wait, I tell a lie. Because my husband is the one who identified this trait. It’s important, before I go any further, that you understand that he is the one who told me that “territorial” is the word for what I am – I thought I was just weirdly stressy about… I don’t even know. Like I was afraid to have people moving around where I couldn’t see them? I know my friends aren’t ninjas, though that would be cool… I just knew that I had issues. He was the one who correctly identified what it is I’m feeling when I open my door to someone and, as soon as my back is turned, they’re off in the kitchen exclaiming over how much counter space I have when I didn’t actually intend to show them around the kitchen at this point in our relationship.
My example. I was doing laundry – mine, because we divide laundry in this house. If that seems weird to you, say something and I’ll be sure to add it to the list of things I need to explain in a future post.
Husband, whose laundry was somewhere else not being done by me, was in his study, playing ESO.
ME: (peeking in) You’re stealing?
ME: In…. Pact?
ME: That’s my town. Get out.
HIM: I can steal stuff too!
ME: Go to Riften, that’s what it’s for.
HIM: Riften’s too crowded.
ME: Then go to Wrothgar, but you’re on my turf.
HIM: You’re logged off!
ME: And this is what I get for putting laundry away. You know what? Never again. (stomping out of room) From now on, laundry comes out of the dryer I’m just gonna dump it on the bed and leave it there!
HIM: (calling after me) That’s got nothing to do with me.