Stupid Laundry


Since you’ve never been to my house (I’d have noticed) there’s something you probably don’t know about me.


Okay, several things, actually.  You probably didn’t know that, given only one towel when I get out of the shower, I will dry off my legs and then wrap up my hair and march out of the bathroom, stark nekkid.  But, see, you don’t know that because it’s totally irrelevant to anything I would ever post here.



TMI meter

Sorry, I can’t always tell.


The other, more pertinent fact about me is that I am extremely territorial.  As much as I love having people over, I hate the bit where they wander around my home instead of staying right where I carefully arranged them.  I don’t like people touching my things, or using them when I’m not around, even if it’s something that so-called “normal people” wouldn’t think twice about.


spaniel marking territory

“I just wanted to make sure you understand this area is mine. All of it.”


This brings me to my example.


No, wait, I tell a lie.  Because my husband is the one who identified this trait.  It’s important,  before I go any further, that you understand that he is the one who told me that “territorial” is the word for what I am – I thought I was just weirdly stressy about… I don’t even know.  Like I was afraid to have people moving around where I couldn’t see them?  I know my friends aren’t ninjas, though that would be cool… I just knew that I had issues.  He was the one who correctly identified what it is I’m feeling when I open my door to someone and, as soon as my back is turned, they’re off in the kitchen exclaiming over how much counter space I have when I didn’t actually intend to show them around the kitchen at this point in our relationship.


Territorial tiger attack




Right then.


My example.  I was doing laundry – mine, because we divide laundry in this house.  If that seems weird to you, say something and I’ll be sure to add it to the list of things I need to explain in a future post.


Husband, whose laundry was somewhere else not being done by me, was in his study, playing ESO.


ME:  (peeking in) You’re stealing?
HIM:  Yeah.
ME:  Where?
HIM:  Rawl’Kha
ME:  In…. Pact?
HIM:  Yeah.
ME:  That’s my town.  Get out.
HIM:  I can steal stuff too!
ME:  Go to Riften, that’s what it’s for.
HIM:  Riften’s too crowded.
ME:  Then go to Wrothgar, but you’re on my turf.
HIM:  You’re logged off!
ME:  And this is what I get for putting laundry away.  You know what?  Never again.  (stomping out of room)  From now on, laundry comes out of the dryer I’m just gonna dump it on the bed and leave it there!
HIM:  (calling after me)  That’s got nothing to do with me.



laundry pushed over to make room for napping

You caught that this is his plan, right?



4 comments on “Stupid Laundry

  1. I have to know why an engineer is not doing your laundry. They do a fabulous job.

    My cousin almost kicked her new husband out of the house when she found him doing only his laundry – not hers, not that of her two kids – just his. She informed him that in the home that she and new husband had created, there was no such thing as “my laundry” and “laundry I do not have to care about” unless he wanted there to be “my meals” and “meals prepared by my wife for herself and her children.”


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