But I’ll MISS Him!

 

I’m starting to get nervous about this trip.

 

Audrey Hepburn "I'm having a nervous breakdown"

Not quite, but give me time.

 

Not because It’s so long, (it’s actually a nice short one) or because he’s going so far away, (he’ll be driving, it’s that close) but because it’s soon and you know how I am when he’s gone.

 

Bridget Jones sings All By Myself

Ring any bells?

 

I’ve got friends whose partners travel a lot, and I’ve asked them for tips on how to cope, but I get weird suggestions like, “take this opportunity to do whatever you want, enjoy your freedom!”

 huh?

 

I already do that.  Pretty much constantly.  Where is everyone getting the idea that he holds me back?

 

 

 

“Watch all the things he won’t watch with you!”


Watching horror together

 

… I sort of make him watch those things with me anyway.  Or I watch alone, and he plays fucking Stellaris.  The point is, I already watch what I want, when I want.

 

 

 

“Take the whole bed for yourself!”

 

bed cartography (complex)

There’s some pretty complex math going on here, let me break it down for you.

 

 

Yeah, my half is in the middle, and I’ve annexed ⅓ of his “share” as well.  So.

 

 

 

“Just relax!  Enjoy a few days without having to take care of him!”

 actually...

 

While it’s true that he lost the ability to feed himself when we got married, Husband does way more to take care of me than I do for him.  I mean, I’m fully capable of feeding and cleaning up after myself while he’s gone, but the minute he gets home he’ll go right back to holding my hand in the parking lot (I tend to wander without looking) and bringing me a bottle of water when he tucks me in at night.*

 

he's so dreamy

Even Batman thinks so.

 

 

Eventually, these conversations make me realize I’m a bad wife, and I have to just walk away.

 

 

But my dilemma remains.

 

 

ME:  I’m going to miss you so much.
HIM:  If you go with me, you can have all the bubble tea and good Mexican you want.
ME:  But if I stay here, I can have all the clean towels I want.

 

 

not gonna happen

He keeps suggesting it like it’s an option.

 

 

 

 

* This is not as creepy as it maybe sounds.  I just need to go to bed before he does, so this is our way of making sure that he still kisses me goodnight and whatnot.  “I love you, goodnight” is an important part of marriage.  Write that down.

 

 

 

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2 comments on “But I’ll MISS Him!

  1. “Where is everyone getting the idea that he holds me back?”

    Right? I’ve heard the whole freedom spiel before too and it’s an enigma to me. Sure, on the occasion that Nutty Hubby has to go on a work trip, I might go on a solo hike or take myself out to dinner and a movie or something, but it’s not out of some kind of let-your-leg-hair-hang-out feminine journey of liberation and self-rediscovery. It’s a my-best-friend-is-gone-so-I-guess-it’s-up-to-me-to-entertain-myself activity to fill the hours.

    Anyway I don’t really have any useful coping advice for you other than to hug your dogs a lot. If I had dogs I would hug the shit out of them when NH is away, but I don’t, because our building doesn’t allow them, so I hug a big stuffed penguin named Walter instead while I hate-watch TV in my pajamas.

    Liked by 1 person

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