I don’t always have a theme for these posts.
I can’t apologize for this without explaining why, and I can’t explain why without giving you this example, from this morning, of a typical conversation between me and my husband. Note that we can’t even seem to agree on the topic, and I honestly can’t remember what it was he suggested (but it was probably something for the car, which just cost us money and now I’m mad at it).
HIM: I just think it would be a good idea
ME: I agree. Let’s do that, with our millions. You’ve got that winning lotto ticket, right?
ME: You LOST it? Jesus!
HIM: I never had it. I’m sorry.
ME: You know, that is so typical of you, to not win the lottery
HIM: It is. Just like EVERYONE ELSE.
ME: (mocking) “Just like everyone else.” Oh, and if “everyone else” jumped off a bridge, would you?
HIM: Probably. Because that would mean the bridge was on FIRE.
ME: No, dammit… correlation and causation… remember stats?
HIM: People jumping off the bridge doesn’t light it on fire, they’re jumping off because of the fire.
ME: You don’t know. Maybe they’re bungee jumpers, and it’s some sort of bungee jumping club, but you’re just walking across the bridge because you’re a random hiker and you don’t have a bungee cord.
HIM: People jumping off a bridge is a pretty good indicator that the bridge is on fire.
ME: … Do you assume there’s a fire just because you see people jumping? No, you stop and watch and see what’s what first. Maybe it’s a cult and this is their ritual suicide.
HIM: Bungee cords won’t help them, because the cords will just burn up in the fire.
ME: Not these cords. They’re flame-retardant.
HIM: That’s not a thing!