Ghosts on a Boat


I’ve made no secret of my love for all holidays here, and especially Halloween.  So it will come as no surprise to you that, when I found out about an actual haunted boat tour I became determined to go.


No, I have no idea how it even works.  Are there ghosts on the boat?  Is the lake or river haunted?  Do we cruise past several haunted locations from the relative safety of a non-haunted boat, complete with cocktails and maybe cocoa?


 I.  Don’t.  Know.


Ghost Ship

But in my mind, it looks like this.


And it almost doesn’t matter, because I love boats and I was cruelly cheated out of buying a house old enough that it was almost certainly haunted,* so he owes me, right?


I’m still working on it.


HIM:  I need to go downstairs to get water to take my pills
ME:  Why don’t you just leave a glass of water up here at night?
HIM:  (earnestly) I do.  I get a glass of water to take my pills before bed, and then in the morning, it’s just gone.
ME:  Are you saying we have ghosts?
HIM:  Maybe.
ME:  Well good news!  I found a boat tour we can go on with them.
HIM:  They don’t even supply their own ghosts?
ME:  I’m sure they do, but we could bring the ones who are stealing your water and maybe they’ll –
HIM:  I’m not going on a boat with a ghost.
ME:  Why not?
HIM:  Because of the implications.

 because of the implications (always sunny)


I may need your help wearing him down.



* It’s cool, though.  Because we made a deal: I wouldn’t buy that perfect house, with the lovely old squeaky floors and original woodwork and two staircases and giant kitchen, and he would agree that I was right about everything else until the end of time.  Our realtor was there as a witness.  It was a very awkward brunch, I’m sure, but he got his way that one time and has since totally forgotten the agreement.  And now I’m stuck in an unhaunted house with carpet everywhere and 1970’s wood paneling in my study.  Sure, all of the bedrooms technically have a floor under them that will bear the weight of an actual human being, but the stairs don’t squeak so I think we can agree that we’re in a much poorer situation all around.



6 comments on “Ghosts on a Boat

  1. nerril says:

    Tell him since he wouldn’t let you LIVE with the ghosts, you guys can just visit. On the boat.


  2. We stayed in a real Castle in Germany and it was HORRIBLE. I thought I would love it but I didn’t! The proprietor set up mannequins dressed in castle-y clothes in little alcoves along the hallway and lights only came on when you walked past the sensor and it scared the shit out of me when I had to go down for the WiFi password!! The castle was built in the 1500s and has had plenty of time to collect all kinds of ghosts. I think they had speakers pumping in weird noises all night too. On the other hand, maybe they weren’t…..which kept me awake all night long.


  3. bekahrigby says:

    I, too, am confused as to how this would work. Are you on a boat and sailing to haunted places? Or are you touring boats that are supposedly haunted? Or, oh my god, are you SAILING to tour HAUNTED BOATS?
    I have never wanted to know more about haunted boat tours.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sadly, I have been completely unable to budge him on the haunted boat tour. “Implications” my ass, but whatever. Good news! My friend wants to do a different haunted tour for her birthday, which isn’t quite as mysterious but it does end at a speakeasy, so there’s alcohol involved. And I’ve already informed Husband that he used up his one and only veto on the boat issue, and he REAFFIRMED IT. So.

      We’re going walking with some ghosts. Stay tuned.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Teaismyjam says:

    That’s so sad. Squeaky floors are necessary in order to live happily, and ghosts make for interesting companions.


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