I hate to hit y’all with a downer, but you know what? I figure maybe someone else out there (who also happens to read this blog, so it’s a pretty small cross-section) is going through the same shit and needs to hear this:
Abusers have radar. Right about the time you’re thinking, “I’ma get a theme song and some backup singers, because I am killing it,” they pop out of the shadows like the worst jack-in-the-box ever, which is to say any jack-in-the-box because they’re all horrible and nightmare-inducing. This is nothing to do with you and everything to do with them, so just plan on it and keep on with the keeping on.
Because you are awesome, and may I say that your butt looks amazing? Because it totally does. I can tell you’ve been working out.
I’ve been feeling pretty good about everything, generally, but like fucking clockwork I got another message from my mother. Passive-aggressive, check. Claims that I don’t love her or care, check. Threats of dire health emergency, check. Sigh.
RANDOM GUY: Smile! It can’t be that bad!
ME: (looks behind me. Yep, I have obviously just left the mental health clinic)
RANDOM GUY: (grins at me expectantly)
ME: (screaming) MY MOTHER JUST DIED, SO YES IT FUCKING CAN!
No, she didn’t die. She’s not going to die, whatever her latest Facebook message might say. (By the way, I am loving the new feature where people who are not your friends cannot see if you’ve read a message until you officially “accept” it, even after you’ve read the whole thing. Thank you, Facebook, for finally getting it.) I just really hate when people say that, and to say it to someone who is clearly Dealing With Some Shit is just… don’t do that, okay? Because you don’t know.
Astute readers will have noticed that I’ve not included a conversation with my actual husband in this entry. That is because he opts out of Mom stuff – which is really very smart of him. I try to follow his example.
nb: I will be watching comments carefully for this post. I understand that some people have close, loving family relationships, and that’s wonderful – I don’t, and that’s okay too, m’kay? I also understand that there are people out there who lost their Moms and would give anything for just five more minutes. I don’t want to hear about that right now, though. I believe you. Your mom sounds great; I wish I had five more minutes with her. My mom is the other kind, so please respect that.