Pumpkins? PUMPKINS!

You guys, I am Stressing.  Out.

I haven’t bought pumpkins yet.


shocked spilling tea

I know!  But the humidity this year has been crazy, and even with the dehumidifier in the basement going nonstop, it’s just not enough to dry things out sufficiently for me to be confident that the pumpkins will be safe indoors… which means I’ve got to wait, which means I’ve got to worry that I won’t get good ones, which means that roughly nine times a day I’m going to Husband and having this conversation

ME:  We need to get pumpkins.
HIM:  They’ll rot.  It’s too humid.
ME:  But Halloween is in two weeks!
HIM:  Right, but we’ll have rotten pumpkins before then if we buy them now.
ME:  Okay, but… we need to buy pumpkins!
HIM:  Not today.
ME:  ngfrl!
HIM:  (sighs)

I get the sense that I’m not easy to live with right now.

woman covered in blood

I’ve also been testing new blood recipes… in the kitchen.

I also get the sense that he’s maybe putting off the pumpkin buying trip for other reasons.  Look what happened last year:

HIM:  Okay, I think we’ve got enough.
ME:  Yeah, but they’re mostly tall-ish.  I need some round ones.
HIM:  (sighs)
ME:  I have patterns that need round ones and I don’t want all my pumpkins to be vertical!
HIM:  Okay…. (dives back in to pumpkins)
ME:  Ooh, this one’s kind of round-ish…
HIM:  (looks up with a glimmer of hope in his weary eyes)
ME:  (pointing) There’s one!  On the bottom of that pile.
HIM:  You’re killing me.  (starts shifting pumpkins around, digging toward my prize)
ME:  Am not.
HIM:  You are.  You’re killing me with MURDER.

Yes, I take the pumpkin carving very seriously.  Husband will tell you that I take all the things Very Seriously, but the pumpkins are a big deal because… well, frankly, it’s because people ooh and aah over them and tell me they’re amazing and I’m not too proud to admit that I thrive on external validation.  I need it, I crave it… have I mentioned that I love your comments and shares?  Because I do, and you should do that more often 😉

And this is why I’ve got three new books of pumpkin patterns this year.  I’ve been collecting these for years, and I scan them so they’re preserved forever (which is not, by the way, a sign of obsession.  I’ve checked.)

ME:  Hey, honey?  What’cha doin?
HIM:  Coming to talk to you.  Because I’m bored.
ME:  Cool!  Wanna help me scan in my new pumpkin patterns?
HIM:  No.
HIM:  But I am bored.  Wanna do something?
ME:  (sighs, goes back to lovely new patterns)

I promise, we do have things in common.  I just can’t remember what they are right now.

Jack Skellington thinking

14 comments on “Pumpkins? PUMPKINS!

  1. Victor Kivisto says:

    This is why I grow pumpkins – no arguments about how many to get!


    • I keep thinking about this, and some of our friends grow their own… but since I’ve only ever managed to keep one plant alive, ever (we named her Clara, the Impossible Orchid) it’s not really an option for me. At least, until I have “hire some gardeners so all I have to do is point” money.


  2. tiredwife says:

    I haven’t bought pumpkins yet either. I don’t actually care about the carving part anymore. I need the innards, so I can pour fake blood all over them. Once they are all bloody, I fill a guys (We’ve named him Tommy Torso) chest cavity with the bloody guts and zombie babies. I also use them for my beheaded guys (we named him Decapitated Dan) neck stump.

    I might be a little morbid. Maybe


  3. Jay says:

    I may not even buy pumpkins. And I won’t care either way. But sometimes I empty one just to put my dog inside.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I haven’t bought pumpkins. Yet. I have to buy pumpkins ONLY because the 12 Bunco ladies are eating at my house on 11/8 and there will be talk if I am pumpkinless. The horror. And absolutely, I won’t be getting all squatties, or all oblongies. That would be gauche.


  5. I know this is a really stupid question (and I live in a cold climate where there is no such thing as too warm and humid in October), but can’t pumpkins be put in the fridge? Or is this a space issue? And if so, would it be completely unreasonable to buy a second refrigerator dedicated to pumpkins because I am thinking no, it would not.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am also in the frozen north, so it’s not that it’s too warm but the cold damp will rot them just as fast. And putting them in the fridge for more than a day or three makes them too soft for carving really fine details.

      Yes, I have a second fridge just for holiday projects. No, this is not at all unreasonable. Thank you for understanding.


  6. josypheen says:

    Have you posted photos of previous pumpkin carving creations? If so, I’d love to see them!

    Liked by 1 person

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