I complain about my husband a lot around here.
And I’m about to do it again, don’t worry.
But first, I really ought to point out the nice thing about him: he takes it all in stride. I don’t mean that he’s my doormat – hell, I’ve got that whole list of arguments that rage on and if you like I can provide audio of some actual shouting matches (fair warning, they won’t make any sense to anyone who’s not actually involved in the conflict) – but rather that he’s got an excellent sense of perspective about the whole thing and knows when there’s just no point in attempting to mount a defense.
He also thinks, for whatever reason, that this blog is actually about me.*
Anyway, now that I’ve praised him a bit – Oh, and he’s an excellent cook besides – let’s get to the latest horrible thing he did.
ME: Okay, so listen – if we’re at the theater to see a new movie that I’m really excited about, you gotta just let me be excited, okay?
ME: And if I won’t sit still, because I’m just that excited, you gotta just let me bounce around. It is NOT COOL to remove the seats between me and the aisle in order to “pen me in” or get people to bar the door. It’s embarrassing.
ME: ESPECIALLY if David Tennant is coming. Because if there are no SEATS, then he can’t sit next to me, and we can’t become BFF’s.
HIM: Wait, who did this?
ME: You did!
HIM: (confused face)
ME: Last night!
HIM: (comprehension dawns)
ME: And it was really shitty!
HIM: (head down, sighs) Dream me is very sorry for all of that.
ME: Just don’t do it again.
* I’ve pointed at the title, and explained that people come here to read about the things he says, and we’ve gone ‘round and ‘round about the snoring, but he won’t be moved on this point.