Remember when I promised to always be honest with you, and share the intimate details of my life as though we’re real-life friends?
No, of course you don’t, because I never did any such damned thing. Frankly, I don’t operate like that; I wouldn’t know how to begin.* But I did say that I’d pick up the pace, posting-wise, after Halloween and I know I haven’t done that. I know why I haven’t, but you don’t, and that’s bugging me a little. Also, one of the biggest things that’s going on around here is coloring our Conversations (or, at least steering them) and I don’t know how to share those without explaining. So, after some discussion with Husband, we’ve decided to open yet another window into our lives.
Husband has had terrible back pain for as long as I’ve known him – his back pain could have registered to vote in the election this year, not that it would have made any difference – but it’s gotten worse lately. He tried working from home more often, but when even that wasn’t helping we bit the bullet and decided that he would take temporary disability leave (yikes!) while we really focus on getting him better.** So, rather than being able to catch up on my blogging, I’m barking at insurance, managing schedules and doctor’s appointments, going with him to appointments to make sure that he’s being heard (don’t even get me started on our first attempt at the pain clinic – why is the guy even there if he doesn’t know how to treat muscular pain?) and generally busy with that situation, along with freaking out about money.
I promise: you’re on my priority list, it’s just that you fall below figuring out how we’re going to keep things running and how I’m going to keep my man walking upright. I’m sure you understand.
The good news is, with him around the house more I’ve got plenty of material – he doesn’t stop saying stupid things just because he’s in pain, you see. And, now that you know what’s going on, I don’t have to hide that a lot of them reference doctor’s appointments and tests and suchlike.
ME: Give me your phone.
HIM: No, we’re late.
ME: At the first stop sign, then.
HIM: We’re late.
ME: Yes, but you’re out of balls.
HIM: No, I’m not going to slow us down for that.
ME: You’re the first MRI of the morning, it’ll be fine.
HIM: Yes, and if I’m late it’ll throw off their whole day!
ME: That’s why they were running behind every single time we’ve been there?
HIM: Yes. Because of you and your phone and the Pokémon.
ME: Uh-huh. (takes out phone to make notes)
HIM: Don’t blame me. You taught me to argue like this. I was bound to pick it up eventually.
ME: Uh-huh. (still typing)
HIM: (sing-song) I love you!
ME: (sing-song) I’m still writing it down!
We were seven minutes late; they made us wait another ten.
I’m calling it a moral victory.
* It’s true. I can barely figure out how to tell my friends who live nearby – in houses I can see from my back yard and whom I see on a regular basis – what’s going on in my life.
** Here “better” has a special meaning which roughly translates as, “able to work from home, so that he can sit at a desk for more than 20 minutes at a stretch without having to climb back into bed.” Our bar is very low indeed.