Sometimes this thing happens where we spend waaay too much time on a topic, and have meandered around into a very weird place with it. On these occasions, I have a decision to make: do I share the conversation with you, the people whom I want very much to like me more than you like anyone else, so that you will tell your friends about me (so that they can also love me, and share me… I’m basically going for a pyramid scheme of validation, here) and risk you discovering that we’re long-winded and bumbling conversationalists after all; or do I hold it inside and risk not having enough material to post anything at all, because I raised the bar so high I’d have to get one of those grabby things from the infomercial just to reach it?
Well, it’s no good keeping you in suspense, now that you can see further down: I’ve opted to share and take the risk. (Besides, I just spent over 20 hours on one mission in Dishonored 2, so honestly, we’re not seeing much of each other right now.)
For background purposes: we do still play Elder Scrolls Online, and when we’re out with the guild I opt for push-to-talk for the rest of them and keep Husband on a separate skype call so that he can hear me all the time. This way I can ask stupid questions in relative privacy. Also, only he can hear what I really think about being asked to ride halfway across the map because someone forgot which outpost we were going for.*
Anyway, push-to-talk has many advantages, but the “push” part is killing me, because my hands are kind of busy while I’m playing, you know? So I wondered if I might get a foot pedal instead, and of course they totally exist – yay!
You are now more or less caught up.
ME: So I’m still deciding whether to do the single pedal for my push-to-talk or the three pedal model and put my synergy down there. No clue what I’d do with the third pedal, but they don’t seem to offer a two-pedal model.
HIM: That’s because, of the things that require pedals, most want three. Like… pianos.
ME: And racing games, driving simulators.
HIM: Yeah. And… well, I guess that’s it.
ME: Flight simulators.
HIM: Do airplanes have three pedals?
HIM: I know there’s two, for the tail rudder…
HIM: And the stick is for the wing flaps, and… (blah, blah, blah, history of airplane controls)
ME: Sure, but they-
HIM: But what would the third pedal be for?
ME: Dunno. But they’ve got one. They use their feet for steering the plane when it’s on the ground.
HIM: That’s not all-
ME: I saw it on Reading Rainbow.**
HIM: Okay, yeah, they also use that on the ground, fine. But what would the third pedal be?
HIM: Right… Left… Braking!
ME: Oh, well yeah, that.
HIM: Of course they need a brake!
ME: We’re stupid.
HIM: We just weren’t thinking in terms of a ground-only control. Because the wheels aren’t powered-
ME: They should be!
HIM: … No, they really shouldn’t.
ME: Um, yeah. If we can fit that technology into a vacuum cleaner, we can manage it for an airplane.
HIM: Right, but an airplane isn’t vacuuming-
ME: It could. It’d be nice, once in a while, if it also did the hoovering.
HIM: (sensing dangerous territory) Yes, it could also hoover the runway.
* Strangely, guild members are aware that we do this and are not the least worried that I might be talking shit about them.
** In hunting for some images to go with this post, I have found that the more usual configuration is for the brakes to be located at the tops of those two pedals. I maintain that I saw three on Reading Rainbow when I was little. LeVar Burton can back me up, I’m sure. Somebody get him on the phone… if 2016 didn’t steal him too.