Me and the White Rabbit

 

It may be time to amend The List.

 

I’m debating, though, because this isn’t an argument we’ve ever actually had.  It’s actually, if you want to get right down to it, an argument we’re carefully not having. 

 

 

clock for the chronically late

 

Oh, sure, Husband will rail and rant about how I make us late by “taking too long to get ready”… but I’ve only ever gently hinted at my frustration when he sits and putters at the computer until eight minutes before we’re supposed to leave and then races for the shower, blocking me out of the bathroom so that I’m the last one out the door because I had to wait for him before I could finish my hair.  Or how I’ll be basically ready, but I’ll notice that he’s nowhere near it and I’ll spend precious minutes nagging him to get moving and that puts me behind schedule but prompts him to actually be ready on time when he otherwise wouldn’t have been, so that now he’s once again “waiting in the car” and I’m trying to find my shoes.

 

Do you see the problem? 

 

No?

 

Fine.  Since there’s no trust here at all, I will provide you with yet another example.  But really, at some point you’re going to have to learn to take me at my word.

 

ME:  Are you ready?
HIM:  (still eating)  Yeah
ME:  Except for the sammich.
HIM:  Except for the sandwich and shoes, yes.  And you still need shirt and shoes.
ME:  Do you want me to put on a shirt?
HIM:  … No.
ME:  Right then.  Don’t act like my lack of shirt is the problem when you don’t really want me to wear one.
HIM:  Fine!
ME:  (from downstairs)  And now I’m wearing two shirts and shoes and you’re still eating a sandwich!
HIM:  Do you want me to hurry up, or do you want me fed?
ME:  Yes!
HIM:  Well now I’m fed up!
ME:  That wasn’t one of the options!
HIM:  That was both of the options, and you said yes!
ME:  Tch.  (muttering) don’t think I won’t write this up.
HIM:  (finding me at the computer)  Pft, I’m waiting in the car.
ME:  … (raging internally)

 

Tim Burton's White Rabbit

 

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6 comments on “Me and the White Rabbit

  1. TwistedHeart says:

    I get you! Totally on your side! It can take awhile to do make up and hair and clothes and shoes.
    When all they do is put on what ya picked out!

    Like

  2. Totally, used to be us. I gave up about 3-5 years ago asking about what he will wear or when he plans to get ready. I have actually, several times, been ready, really ready, before the darling husband since not asking any more. We did have an argument about intestinal gas last night after 40 years of marriage in which he hurt my feelings. Now, after sleep, I know our “convo” was just hysterically funny.

    I am your fan.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I used to think “never go to bed angry” was brilliant advice, and quoted it as gospel. Then I got married. Now I realize that sometimes what you really need is some goddamned sleep and distance and perspective, and to give your brain a chance to find a better way to say things. All in all, “never go to bed angry” must be advice straight from a divorce lawyer, because some of our worst arguments came from trying to work out some bullshit thing while we were both too tired to really listen or communicate effectively.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am still your Fan because sleep is needed sometimes more than finishing the discussion. Even with my kids I can sometimes be very worried about something and still fall asleep. Sometimes not though. Children problems are more difficult to put aside than husband problems, for me, that is.

        Like

  3. cracTpot says:

    See, I was 100% sure that I could not be the only person that understood logic and now I’ve been validated.

    Liked by 1 person

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