It may be time to amend The List.
I’m debating, though, because this isn’t an argument we’ve ever actually had. It’s actually, if you want to get right down to it, an argument we’re carefully not having.
Oh, sure, Husband will rail and rant about how I make us late by “taking too long to get ready”… but I’ve only ever gently hinted at my frustration when he sits and putters at the computer until eight minutes before we’re supposed to leave and then races for the shower, blocking me out of the bathroom so that I’m the last one out the door because I had to wait for him before I could finish my hair. Or how I’ll be basically ready, but I’ll notice that he’s nowhere near it and I’ll spend precious minutes nagging him to get moving and that puts me behind schedule but prompts him to actually be ready on time when he otherwise wouldn’t have been, so that now he’s once again “waiting in the car” and I’m trying to find my shoes.
Do you see the problem?
Fine. Since there’s no trust here at all, I will provide you with yet another example. But really, at some point you’re going to have to learn to take me at my word.
ME: Are you ready?
HIM: (still eating) Yeah
ME: Except for the sammich.
HIM: Except for the sandwich and shoes, yes. And you still need shirt and shoes.
ME: Do you want me to put on a shirt?
HIM: … No.
ME: Right then. Don’t act like my lack of shirt is the problem when you don’t really want me to wear one.
ME: (from downstairs) And now I’m wearing two shirts and shoes and you’re still eating a sandwich!
HIM: Do you want me to hurry up, or do you want me fed?
HIM: Well now I’m fed up!
ME: That wasn’t one of the options!
HIM: That was both of the options, and you said yes!
ME: Tch. (muttering) don’t think I won’t write this up.
HIM: (finding me at the computer) Pft, I’m waiting in the car.
ME: … (raging internally)