Saturday is here, the day when most of us think most seriously about chucking it all and moving to Brazil. Or wherever your lawless fantasies reside. Mine is Brazil, because of all the plastic surgeons. (I saw that show.) But wait! Here I come with some “motivation” to keep you trapped here for just one more week… have you caught on yet? Yeah, I’m working for The Man, and it’s all a plot to keep you submissively in your place, so you don’t go off to loll about on some beach for the rest of your unnaturally short, drunken life.
The Man, however, is terribly behind in payment, so my loyalty is waning. Which explains the quality of your weekly motivations, no?
If you’ve no clue what I’m on about, you are clearly new and we’ve found you out – you will now be required to click the Not Exactly Motivational link (that one will do, if you don’t want to scroll up and find the one at the top of any and every page) so that you may be properly indoctrinated. This is for your safety and our convenience, as deleting comments of the “What the hell is wrong with you?” and “I thought this was going to be a nice post about your husband!” variety would be a huge waste of my time. Plus, there’s a link there to aaalll the goodies, so you’ll be caught up quickly. The rest of you may proceed normally.