We’ve gone a few rounds about the “you’re closer” thing the past few weeks; if this keeps up, I might have to add it to The List.
But would that really be fair? I mean, I always win that one. And not in the “I always win all the arguments” sort of way… I mean I just seem to be better at that one than he is. Here, have a look at this:
ME: Could you pass me the book?
HIM: (gets up)
ME: You’re closer.
HIM: (sits back down) That’s… not even a little bit true!
ME: No, it is. See, you’re looking at it wrong.
HIM: (looks at the book, me, the book again)
ME: You know how they plot out a flight plan? It looks all curved and like they’re going the long way, but actually—
HIM: (incredulous look)
ME: See, you have to compensate for the curvature of the Earth. You’re thinking of this (gestures) as a flat plane.
HIM: (trying not to laugh)
ME: You love me!
HIM: I was getting up before you started that shit!
ME: Yes, you were. So the fact that you’re sitting now proves that it’s not about your willingness to get the book, it’s about your stubbornness. And that’s just mean.
HIM: No, it’s about your bullshit excuse.
ME: And your stubbornness.
HIM: (gets up, passes me book)
And that, to date, has been his actual best effort.
I almost shouldn’t complain, right?