You’re Closer


We’ve gone a few rounds about the “you’re closer” thing the past few weeks; if this keeps up, I might have to add it to The List.


can't quit reach it

It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that everything’s really far away.



But would that really be fair?  I mean, I always win that one.  And not in the “I always win all the arguments” sort of way… I mean I just seem to be better at that one than he is.  Here, have a look at this:


ME:  Could you pass me the book?
HIM:  (gets up)
ME:  You’re closer.
HIM:  (sits back down)  That’s… not even a little bit true!
ME:  No, it is.  See, you’re looking at it wrong.
HIM:  (looks at the book, me, the book again)
ME:  You know how they plot out a flight plan?  It looks all curved and like they’re going the long way, but actually—
HIM:  (incredulous look)
ME:  See, you have to compensate for the curvature of the Earth.  You’re thinking of this (gestures) as a flat plane.
HIM:  (trying not to laugh)
ME:  You love me!
HIM:  I was getting up before you started that shit!
ME:  Yes, you were.  So the fact that you’re sitting now proves that it’s not about your willingness to get the book, it’s about your stubbornness.  And that’s just mean.
HIM:  No, it’s about your bullshit excuse.
ME:  And your stubbornness.
HIM:  (gets up, passes me book)



And that, to date, has been his actual best effort.


I almost shouldn’t complain, right?


cat can't reach toy




10 comments on “You’re Closer

  1. At least he admits that he sees the book. Neither Primo nor I want to be the first one to see cat vomit.

    Liked by 2 people

    • We have a teenager for cat vomit, but I honestly don’t know what we’re going to do when he’s gone next year… only the babycat is trained to throw up in the box or sink, I think the others are too stupid or too stubborn.

      We might need a live-in maid.


  2. JenS says:

    I do this a lot. BUT I usually have a cat attached to my lap, and whoever has the cat is given help. No disturbing the kitty.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I confess, I’ve been known to invite a cat up on my lap or a dog to snuggle only to claim helplessness mere seconds after they’re settled. He knows what I’m doing, but it works because “lookit how happy he is!” (our dogs especially are good at playing to the audience on this line)


  3. Nope, can’t do this one. I have two teenagers. whenever I make a general request like “Hey, can someone let the dog out, please?” It devolves into a 20 minute argument about who is closer to the door and who did it last time until I finish what I am doing and let the damn dog out myself.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Jaded Jeni says:

    I do this to my hubs all the time, lol. He’s perfectly happy to get whatever I need but I just have to exasperate him further by unnecessarily telling him he’s closest to whatever it is that I want. It’s a fun game.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ritu says:

    Oh man I know that ahem… discussion!


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