Offspring and I are both musically inclined; this is actually one of like four things we have in common, along with eye color, sarcastic bent, and a hard-wired need to be right.
Husband doesn’t just hate musicals: I’ve literally never heard him sing.
That probably doesn’t sound strange until you think about the people with whom you spend the most time – you know what they sound like when they sing, because they’ve done it at some point. They sing along with the radio, they hum a little while puttering around… something, right? At the very least, they join in when others are singing a familiar tune. Nope, not my man. Never. Not once. And I’ve asked.
I had begun to suspect one of two possibilities: either he was tone deaf, or he was possessed of such an angelic voice that to hear it would cause our hearts to break and our ears to refuse all lesser sounds. Well, he’s helped our son prepare for auditions – and correctly adjusted him when he missed a note – so he’s not actually tone deaf.* Which leaves me to imagine the glories of the voice I will never hear… and to try to trick him into demonstrating it, because self-preservation apparently isn’t my thing after all.
ME: (calling the babycat over)
BABYCAT: (leaves, tail twitching)
ME: Well he doesn’t love me at all, does he?
HIM: Guess not. Good thing I do, a little.
ME: Only a little?
HIM: Hmm… yeah. Little bit more today than yesterday. But not as much as tomorrow.
HIM: That was good, right?
ME: You have to sing it to get full credit.**
Incidentally, since I don’t want there to be any confusion, this is the babycat:
I’ve had him longer than I’ve had Husband – a fact of which he reminds Husband semi-regularly. I took some heat last time I introduced the cats here, and have resisted mentioning them since because of that. But now that I’m finally coming out of my cave just a little (a personal Facebook account and the new Instagram) you’re sure to see pics of them eventually… because that’s what the internet is for, right? Pictures of our pets?
I’m sure as hell not going to show you my lunch. (Chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs. Can’t make me grow up.)
* I’ve only ever met one person who genuinely was, and she fascinated me; I kept plunking on the piano and asking her, “you really don’t hear any difference between these two notes?” I’m sure it got annoying, if not embarrassing, after the first 45 minutes or so. I’ve heard people claim to be tone deaf, but what they mean is that they’re very bad singers or have no musical skill; they can still hear the difference between two notes, or recognize when you change a familiar melody. Most people can. I have also known one person who was actually “beat deaf,” which is a whole nother thing, though the two can be related. Seriously, this is why music programs are so important, even if you’re never going to be a professional musician: the cross-section of people you meet and the things you learn about them can’t be found elsewhere.
** No, it didn’t work.