We have reached that magical time of year when we fight over the thermostat.
The issue: in order to avoid the migraines brought on by the sudden increase in humidemies,* I crank the AC to help dry out the air. Husband, whose back muscles apparently seize up in the cold, comes fe-fi-fo-fumming around to find out why he can see his breath and just like that we’ve got an argument going!
And to think, some couples have to wait until relatives visit or someone has an affair. #blessed
The thing is, the solution to all this cold air blasting at us is super-simple: dress in layers and maybe build a fire once in a while if you love me, right?
Husband can only be reasoned with when the temperature outside is above 62°F.**
All of this to say that it’s still cold outside and it’s not actually much better inside and that’s a bit of a sore point around here, for obvious reasons. Hell, I’m not happy either—I got temperature-sensitive polish on my nails and I’ve never even seen the “warm” color!
ME: Honey? Where’s my grey sweatshirt?
HIM: (holding up shirt) This one?
ME: No, the other one. (gesturing) with the neck…
HIM: (checking the bedroom) I don’t see it up here… where else would it be?
ME: I dunno…
HIM: Wait, you mean to tell me that you just take your clothing off in random locations?
ME: You like that about me!
HIM: …Not the point!
And now—just you wait—he’s going to make my “lack of organization skills” a great big issue.
I tell you, if it wasn’t for the humidemies I’d honestly be looking forward to summer at this point.
* Microscopic organisms of pure evil who require a very moist environment to survive; they cause hair frizz, migraines, allergies, asthma, mascara smudge, and arthritis. Possibly related to spiders.
** Trust me, I’ve put in the research: that’s the line.