Advanced Marriage Techniques: Nonverbal Communication

 

Having recently written a guest post over at Blondwritemore—a list of reasons to get married, if you’re interested—I’ve realized I am truly an expert on marriage.

 

Move over, Elizabeth Taylor.*

all eight of Liz Taylor's weddings

The other Most Married Woman Ever.

 

Some time back, I posted a list of arguments no couple should ever stop having, and I stand by that primer as an excellent guide for novices.  Paired with my newly published** list of reasons to get married in the first place, that forms an excellent sort of Marriage 101, for you amateurs.  But I am aware that some of my readers have been married for long enough to have thrown strop, if not a pot; it is for these intermediate married people that I offer the following lesson in nonverbal communication:

 

 

(Scene: Having awakened and staggered into Husband’s office, I glare at him briefly and begin the following exchange)

 

ME:  Mleh.
HIM:  Mleh.
ME:  (glares)
HIM:  (squints)
ME:  (points menacingly)
HIM:  … I don’t understand?
ME:  That’s right you don’t!
HIM:  I’m… sorry?
ME:  (forcefully)  Mleh!
HIM:  (suddenly contrite)  I’m sorry.
ME:  (nods, leaves)

 

 

 

cute white puffball of MLEH

 

Who needs words?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* Shit, I’ve just googled her and found out she died.  How did I miss that?  Is it really insensitive to compare myself to her now?  Because I feel like now that I know she’s dead I’m definitely better at marriage than she is, but also maybe it’s not fair to pick a fight like that with a dead perfume magnate. 

 

** Courtesy of the lovely Lucy, everyone go and thank her for letting me splash words around on her blog.

 

 

 

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4 comments on “Advanced Marriage Techniques: Nonverbal Communication

  1. Arionis says:

    You’re husband’s nonverbal response as you turned your back to leave the room :P~

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My first husband just kept asking me until I finally gave in just to shut him up.
    🙂 gwingal

    ps. I can’t figure out whether to leave this comment here or over on your guest post!

    Liked by 1 person

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