Move over, Elizabeth Taylor.*
Some time back, I posted a list of arguments no couple should ever stop having, and I stand by that primer as an excellent guide for novices. Paired with my newly published** list of reasons to get married in the first place, that forms an excellent sort of Marriage 101, for you amateurs. But I am aware that some of my readers have been married for long enough to have thrown strop, if not a pot; it is for these intermediate married people that I offer the following lesson in nonverbal communication:
(Scene: Having awakened and staggered into Husband’s office, I glare at him briefly and begin the following exchange)
ME: (points menacingly)
HIM: … I don’t understand?
ME: That’s right you don’t!
HIM: I’m… sorry?
ME: (forcefully) Mleh!
HIM: (suddenly contrite) I’m sorry.
ME: (nods, leaves)
Who needs words?
* Shit, I’ve just googled her and found out she died. How did I miss that? Is it really insensitive to compare myself to her now? Because I feel like now that I know she’s dead I’m definitely better at marriage than she is, but also maybe it’s not fair to pick a fight like that with a dead perfume magnate.
** Courtesy of the lovely Lucy, everyone go and thank her for letting me splash words around on her blog.