Do Not Disturb

 

I have proof—proof, I tell you—that he annoys me on purpose.

 

And I don’t just mean the way he laughs after he’s done it.

 

Liar Liar Jim Carrey laughing at annoyed woman

 

 

Although, now that you mention it… that should have been your first clue.  Really, now I’m kind of pissed at you for not believing me all this time when you’ve watched him work my nerves and then laugh about it.

 

Let’s move on before I decide you deserve a beating, m’kay?

 

Irene Adler from Sherlock

Also, raise your hand if you think Sherlock is just being silly.

 

 

Location: my study.  I am trying, amidst the fog of greyhound farts and noise of scampering cats and one teenager who can’t move without thumping around like he’s throwing furniture, to write without distraction.  The phone rings and I’ve had enough; I switch my skype to Do Not Disturb and turn the music up.

 

 

HIM:  (comes downstairs, pops into the study)
ME:  (looking up, exasperated)  What.
HIM:  I… I was going to just skype you but you’re on Do Not Disturb.
ME:  So you came down
HIM:  Well you asked me a question earlier and now I can’t answer it!*
ME:  (takes deep breath)  You can still send messages, they just don’t interrupt and annoy me.
HIM:  Oh.
ME:  Did you seriously come interrupt me because you saw that I was on Do Not Disturb?
HIM:  (leaves)

 

 

 

I ask you, is this the act of a loving, supportive man who wants to stay married?

 

 

Nick Offerman's adorable laugh

 

 

 

 

 

* I did ask him a question… an hour before I went on DND.  It was about whether or not I could order a book.  Not.  Urgent.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

17 comments on “Do Not Disturb

  1. Ritu says:

    Lol! Men, huh!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. They know, and they can’t help themselves. Even when you don’t specifically post a DND, they know. That’s when they’ll start humming a tune (and they don’t normally hum tunes) or mess about with some piddly-ass chore like dusting the knick-knacks next to your work station. Drives me nuts.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Offspring does this. He cannot help himself, I think… something about Busy Mom just sets off all his “hey, look at the cat, isn’t he cyooooot?” alarms. So then I’m the bad guy who has to say, “Yeah, and his litter box needs to be cleaned, too!” or some other chore because otherwise he’ll stand there pointing out that the cat is cute, the sun is shining, it’s been a while since we built a fire, and every other nonsense thing rather than just Leave. Me. Alone.

      I must be the only extrovert hermit ever.

      Like

  3. My husband does that when I’m reading. Nose in the book and he’s got to ask me question about the weather or something. I’m reading! There are 8 billion apps that will tell you if it’s going to rain. Go ask them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • YES! What is it about the sight of me quietly enjoying a book that suddenly reminds people of all the things they didn’t need to say fifteen minutes ago when I was willing to interact? You had your chance, now my book friends are entertaining me. Write a letter or something, kthxbai.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. miasuttonblog says:

    OMG! Yessss. He is always interrupting me when I’m reading, or trying to watch a show, or just about anything else. Like… do you have radar that tells you when I’m about to enter a zone of focus? And then you deliberately come to do what you can to break it??? asdlfkjasdlfjsdlfk

    Great post, as always 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Jen says:

    Devils Advocate here…
    Well, okay, but… he is in the same house with you, so why would he need to skype or message you when you are right down the hall? Unless you specifically told him not to disturb you because you need some time, I think he is in the right in this situation. I mean, he wouldn’t know your in a bad mood since he’s in a separate room and the DND on Skype doesn’t really mean much.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mazmisc says:

    Last night my husband annoyed me … by in his own odd way trying not to annoy me. In the end, my needs were accommodated. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Arionis says:

    OK, first man chiming in here and I bet you think I am going to defend? Nope. I admit it. We just can’t help it, it’s in our DNA. When my wife is watching her Dr. Phil or Judge Judy I always feel the need to pop in with a totally banal question or observation.

    However, I will take this opportunity to discuss double standards. My wife can not stand it if I yell at her from another room but when she wants me, I swear she goes to the farthest corner of the house and starts yelling at me to come there. When I get there what do I usually find? “Oh, look at this cool thing the dog is doing.” Or something along that lines.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. DGGYST says:

    Ok, Sometimes I think my husband snores on purpose….because it is tuesday at noon, and he is clearly wide awake…and driving…
    https://damngirlgetyourshittogether.com/

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s