Cat Scratch Stupid


Because I cannot do anything like normal people, I cannot have just one cat.*


content warning: cat stuff (scary lettering)

I mean, this is the internet…


Because I cannot even be a Crazy Cat Lady like normal Internet People, one of my cats has an eating disorder.



We’ve struggled to get vets to take this seriously his whole life, but the Baby Cat has some sort of feline anorexia—always has.  It takes nothing at all to put him off eating altogether, and unlike any other animal in the history of exchanging oxygen for carbon dioxide he will not, in direct defiance of all well-intentioned advice, “eat when he gets hungry enough.”  We know this because he gets dangerously, life-threateningly thin before we can drag him back from the brink and convince him to eat. 


skinny cat

Baby Cat.  Too damned skinny, approximately 6 lbs.


I tell you all of this because he’s been on appetite stimulants (antidepressants, but he takes them mostly for the side-effect my human readers hate about them) for over a year now; during most of that time, we’ve also been force feeding him every morning.  Yes, we’ve been over everything with his vet, who is stumped.  I take my pets to the vet, I promise.  I also took some gentle, well-intentioned heat from friends this past year for force feeding my cat every day.  “How long are you going to keep doing this?” and “Maybe it’s time to let him go” are things I heard and from people who love me.  But he was happy and cuddly and enjoyed his life, if not his food, so I saw no reason to change anything.


I’m sharing this now because he’s finally eating on his own (yay!) and also because we’re in a weird place where we still have to keep reminding him that food is a thing and someone has to stay with him/with his food at all times.  Which is so weird, I know, but such is life. 


Also, because we’re still pilling him every other day and today Husband decided to hold him while I did that. 


Go back and read.  He thought it would be a good idea to hold a cat while I stuffed a pill down his throat. 


Yes, of course I got scratched. 


cat getting into pill bottles

If only it were this easy.


But, because that conversation is predictable, I’m telling you about this one instead:




ME:  Did I say debit?
SHOP GIRL:  You did…
ME:  I meant credit…
SHOP GIRL:  It’s fine, I can redo it.
ME:  Sorry, I can’t with the brain and the words today.
SHOP GIRL:  It’s okay.
ME:  (suddenly inspired)  It’s because my cat scratched me!  (shows palm)  You buyin’ that?
SHOP GIRL:  Oh, sure.  I’ve heard of that.
ME:  Right?  I’m sure it’s a science thing… cat scratches make you stupider.
SHOP GIRL:  Sure…  Have a nice day!
ME:  You too.  Now, one last time… it was this one, then this one?
SHOP GIRL:  Other way ‘round.
ME:  Right.  Sorry.  Yup!  I’ll remember!  (quietly, to him)  Help me remember.
HIM:  (quietly)  Got it.  (leading me outside)  Remember, spray first, then leave-in.
ME:  Keep reminding me; I’ll try to remember.
HIM:  (tugging my arm)  Okay, but first you need to remember where we parked.
ME:  Look, my job in this relationship is to be the pretty one.
HIM:  You’re winning.
ME:  Your job is to be the smart one.
HIM:  I’ve edged ahead, since I was holding the cat.
ME:  (turning on him)  So it was sabotage!




angry yelling pointing





Edit: I did not expect other people would also have skinny cat issues, which was stupid of me.  Because I am trying to be less stupid and more helpful, I want to add that Nutri-Cal gel has been tremendously helpful in beefing up the baby cat.  (It smells like nothing, really, and apparently doesn’t taste like much, so we have to mix it into his food… but it adds a ton of calories without bulk, so if that’s what you’re looking for, this is the shit to get.  Ooh, and it’s cheap!)





* Astute readers will notice that I didn’t mention the exact number; this is because I’m still getting used to the idea that we have only two.  Our youngest passed in the wee hours Friday morning.  Ironically, he was the only cat I’ve ever known who liked taking drugs (we found him in a rough part of town, so it’s hardly surprising).




13 comments on “Cat Scratch Stupid

  1. Jen says:

    RIP kitty cat 😥

    I’m glad your skinny kitty is getting a little better about eating food.
    Our cat, Abby, is slightly underweight for no reason either. We have food lying out all day, so she only eats what she wants. We’ve had to resort to a high-calorie kitten food to see if she would gain weight. Apparently, she must know calories because it has made little difference.

    When one of my past cats was losing weight drastically for no medical reason, the vet put her on some type of wet food that makes her hungry. That helped a lot. Unfortunately, she passes anyways, still from unknown causes. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 1). I don’t know why I don’t get emails from you. Still. I’m trying again to follow you. Fingers crossed.
    2). We got a kitten that turned out to be an evil succubus but then we introduced it to my daughter’s two cats and she suddenly became less of an evil succubus to The Viking and I but is STILL an evil succubus to everyone else. We got ANOTHER cat to remind the succubus to not be succubussy to The Viking and I. That turned out better than expected. But the succubus was getting a little chubby until we got the Love Troll and now the Love Troll is chubby and the succubus is skinny as a rake. Also, the succubus broke into a guy’s house down the street and bullied him. He came to visit yesterday and we had to apologize because he had wounds. Anyway…..I asked our vet about how skinny the succubus is but the vet said that in multi-cat homes there seems to be a rule of thumb that one ends up skinny and the other fat which made me think that cats are far more sophisticated than I thought if they have conversations about who is going to be fat and who’s going to be skinny. The vet said that the rule of thumb doesn’t actually equate with multi-PERSON homes and that I shouldn’t try to bully The Viking into letting me be the skinny one.

    So happy to find you again! And may Baby get healthy chubby soon. :o)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sadly, he was too damned thin even when he was an only… he just can’t be convinced to eat enough. Now, if only eating disorders were contagious…

      Pretty sure your vet doesn’t know what they’re talking about—go ahead and tell the Viking I said you get to be the skinny one for a while. Also, he’s not allowed to say anything about how he’s not trying to be skinny. Unless he actually wants a fresh dent in his head. (There are plenty of pots I haven’t thrown yet.)


  3. 2heartsliving says:

    I am so sorry for the loss of your fur-baby… love and hugs to you from me and my 6 (fur)babies xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Arionis says:

    Sorry to hear about losing one of your cats. We just lost a dog last week that was a faithful companion for 11 years. Still haven’t been able to write about it yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. lariatlarge says:

    So sorry you lost your baba! I lost my ooooold boy (17) a couple of months ago after he was at my side for 14 years. Nothing ever really prepares you for it! He had the opposite problem to yours, though. I spent his whole life trying to make him THIN and not get diabetes. He scoffed at the whole idea and went ahead and stayed fat and didn’t get diabetes, so I guess he showed me 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m sorry to hear about your baby cat passing. But I am glad your skinny cat is finally eating. My cat doesn’t have an eating disorder per se but she does demand we stand with her while she eats, because she’s a Princess.

    Oh, and sometimes we have to “pet start her” – you know, pet her first to get her started eating.



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