Cinderella Problems

 

The weather is finally turning, and fall will soon be upon us.  Leaves will turn, sweaters will be sold, I will make cocoa by the batch—seriously, I’ve got an amazing recipe which is 100% responsible for the current size of my jeans.

 

hot chocolate with mini marshmallows

Let’s get one thing straight: if you’re using mini marshmallows, you’re doing it wrong.

 

 

All of which really only means it’s time for Husband to start needling me again about what I suspect must be his favorite topic: my sports fandom.  Fan status?  However you say it.  Shut up, I’m a fan!  I’ve got a team and everything, I really do.

Look, the point isn’t whether or not you believe that I’m passionate about hand-egg, or my particular hand-egg team (the 49ers, for those who can’t be arsed to read back posts) because this blog isn’t really about me, is it?

 

This is about him.  And he is like a dog with a bone… if bones came in prove my wife isn’t really a fan flavor.

 

yellow and brown swirl nylabone

They don’t… but apparently cheesesteak is an option.

 

 

nb: We were not, as he will imply, speaking of sports.

 

 

HIM:  Speaking of sports, there was an Alt-Right rally scheduled in San Francisco on Saturday.
ME:  …
HIM:  …
ME:  And that would be upsetting to me, because I’m a fan!
HIM:  (laughing)  It took you so long to figure that out!
ME:  (throws pillow)

 

 

I said, didn’t I?  I said he wasn’t letting this go.

 

Remember before, in that other post, when I’d found these cute slippers?  Well they weren’t actually available in a reasonable size at the time, but they are now.  But now I’ve got some confusion, because… “small?”  What the hell size is small?

 

starbucks size chart

I was raised on Starbucks sizes… I’ve never even heard of “small.”

 

 

HIM:  (sends link to size chart for totally different product)
ME:  Yeah, that’s a different manufacturer.  Hang on, my purple ones are probably from this same company… can you go check what size they are?
HIM:  (brings me slippers)  No markings.  Also, these are Ravens.
ME:  (looks)  I… know?  I just got them because I liked the colors.  That was before I was a fan.
HIM:  (laughs)
ME:  Remember?  I asked Michael to tell me which team had purple and silver, because the Vikings ones were hideous.  And he said, “Ravens, but they suck,” and I said, “don’t care!” and ordered them… (checks Amazon order history) … in size small!  Perfect!
HIM:  Okay, but those are $6.  The other ones are—
ME:  I’M A FAN!

 

 

Once again, I’m not getting the supercute slippers.

 

He’s got no respect for my team.

 

And my feet are about to get hella cold.

 

GoT meme Brace yourselves, cold feet are coming

 

 

 

 

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15 comments on “Cinderella Problems

  1. Okay, so, I do use mini marshmallows in hot chocolate.

    BUT HEAR ME OUT.

    First, I add them by the handful. Second, it’s a volume thing, right? It’s like if you fill a jar with golf balls there will heaps of empty space in between the golfballs, simply because of their size. If you fill a jar with jelly beans, there will be way less empty space. So using small things means you get more substance in. And finally, you eat them while you’re making the hot chocolate. Also by the handful. And it’s awesome. I guess kind of like getting $100 dollars in small notes and making it rain money. A $100 note is the same amount of money, but raining money is just better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I use the giant campfire ones. Add one when your mug is about half full, then top off. The whole top of your mug will be a thick layer of marshmallow goo.

      Try it my way, it’ll change your life.

      Oh, and I nosh on a giant ‘shmallow while I’m making it too… but I do a huge batch of my personal mix ahead of time so all I have to do is add hot water (yes, water… the secret is powdered milk). This way I’m only waiting on the kettle—I tend to scorch milk if I do it the other way.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’ll give it a shot. A layer of marshmallow goo sounds good (although just so you know, adding HEAPS of mini marshmallows gets a significant goo effect too, which is what I go for), but I’m not convinced it’s making-it-rain-with-all-the-tiny-marshmallows good.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Lutheranliar says:

    Digging the Cocoa Talk. But cherishing mental pic of husband throwing a pillow at you. Now that’s love (!)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. alawrenceg says:

    Yeah, but that picture with the mini marshmallows looks so good. I’m getting mixed messages.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am down here in Alabama sweating my buns off and you are talking hot chocolate??? It doesn’t even look good. JK Chocolate always looks good and the image of marshmallow goo has me drooling. And so where IS the secret recipe? Do I have to know the code to get it?

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m seriously thinking that next month—when I’m hella busy with all the blood and constantly unpacking and re-packing my makeup kit (everyone remembers I work in a haunted house, right? Because otherwise that sounds weird) I might cheat on posts and just toss out some recipes. Plus, a lot of my favorite things are fall/winter foods, probably because fall is my favorite season.

      But then you’ll want photos. And I don’t want to photograph my kitchen! It’s got that gross wallpaper in…

      Like

  5. Arionis says:

    Yes! The return of hand-egg season. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ah stoppit, you know it’s winter here when Jimmy starts looking for a coddle…. Yes, that was Coddle I said, not cuddle… spare me from cuddles!)

    Liked by 1 person

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