The weather is finally turning, and fall will soon be upon us. Leaves will turn, sweaters will be sold, I will make cocoa by the batch—seriously, I’ve got an amazing recipe which is 100% responsible for the current size of my jeans.
All of which really only means it’s time for Husband to start needling me again about what I suspect must be his favorite topic: my sports fandom. Fan status? However you say it. Shut up, I’m a fan! I’ve got a team and everything, I really do.
Look, the point isn’t whether or not you believe that I’m passionate about hand-egg, or my particular hand-egg team (the 49ers, for those who can’t be arsed to read back posts) because this blog isn’t really about me, is it?
This is about him. And he is like a dog with a bone… if bones came in prove my wife isn’t really a fan flavor.
nb: We were not, as he will imply, speaking of sports.
HIM: Speaking of sports, there was an Alt-Right rally scheduled in San Francisco on Saturday.
ME: And that would be upsetting to me, because I’m a fan!
HIM: (laughing) It took you so long to figure that out!
ME: (throws pillow)
I said, didn’t I? I said he wasn’t letting this go.
Remember before, in that other post, when I’d found these cute slippers? Well they weren’t actually available in a reasonable size at the time, but they are now. But now I’ve got some confusion, because… “small?” What the hell size is small?
HIM: (sends link to size chart for totally different product)
ME: Yeah, that’s a different manufacturer. Hang on, my purple ones are probably from this same company… can you go check what size they are?
HIM: (brings me slippers) No markings. Also, these are Ravens.
ME: (looks) I… know? I just got them because I liked the colors. That was before I was a fan.
ME: Remember? I asked Michael to tell me which team had purple and silver, because the Vikings ones were hideous. And he said, “Ravens, but they suck,” and I said, “don’t care!” and ordered them… (checks Amazon order history) … in size small! Perfect!
HIM: Okay, but those are $6. The other ones are—
ME: I’M A FAN!
Once again, I’m not getting the supercute slippers.
He’s got no respect for my team.
And my feet are about to get hella cold.