I haven’t seen IT yet, and it’s Husband’s fault.
Why are you still here? Are… are you doubting me?
But you know he lives to crush my dreams! Remember the haunted boat tour? Or basically anything else to do with boats?*
Remember how he refuses to partake of the Halloween magic with me?
Right, so now I’m stuck trying to see it with someone else. Only nobody was free last weekend, so I’m waiting and hoping I don’t have to go watch the scary clown alone.
Naturally he was no help whatsoever.
ME: IT is out.
HIM: Yup. You should go see it with K.
ME: (already texting K) … Yeah. So, am I right that you’d never see that with me?
ME: Because you’re a meanie poopie.
HIM: (sighs) Maybe your son will take you to see it in 20 years when they do another remake.
ME: Yeah, ‘cuz that’s what I want—virtual reality clowns.
HIM: Then you should probably go see it in 20 years; this one would be a disappointment.
HIM: Oh, you were being sarcastic.
ME: (already walking away) I’m leaving you!
* I’ve just checked, and that’s a whole ‘nother dream he crushed that I totally forgot to tell you about. Remind me, k?