Happy Fucking Birthday, PT 2

 

 

One Eternity Later

 

 

Welcome back!

 

It seems like it’s been days, right?  But in reality, this just happened.

 

Some of you guessed wildly, some of you guessed mildly, but I’m here to tell you all equally that what I’d ordered for him was XCOM 2 (there was going to be something else too, but he pissed me off).

 

 

Ah, but you don’t care what he’s been doing with his time, do you?  You want to know how he managed to make me miserable on that particular day.  You’ve been patient, I know, you feel like you’ve been waiting for like 96 hours, but really it’s only

 

Eleven Minutes Later

 

 

 

HIM:  So I looked at Amazon.
ME:  YOU SAID YOU WEREN’T GOING TO DO THAT ANYMORE!
HIM:  Yeah, I know.  But I got curious!
ME:  (headdesks really fucking hard)  (cries)
HIM:  But the thing is… you ordered the wrong thing.
ME:  Oh my fucking god.  No I did not!
HIM:  You did!  You ordered the UK version, and it won’t be here for—
ME:  I ordered the one you registered for.
HIM:  That’s not the one I wanted.
ME:  I clicked “add to cart” right off your wishlist.  I didn’t even click the item, I just chucked it in the cart.  Then when I saw it wouldn’t be here in time, I added another thing that would be here—
HIM:  Yeah… I’m not sure why you picked that one.
ME:  Because of all the X-Men movies on your list, you have that one listed as highest priority.
HIM:  Really?  That’s wrong.  Not that one.
ME:  (wonders if this counts as grounds for divorce)
HIM:  So can you—
ME:  (turning back to computer)  I can still cancel the order.  And I’ll find the right version of your game, but you need to take that shit off your wishlist because I can’t do everything for you.  And you need to check your priority ratings on everything, because we’re not doing this again.
HIM:  Yes, fine.  (leaves)
ME:  And you’re not getting a movie!

 

 

Alien autoposy screenshot from XCOM 2

I should send him to the lab, I really should.

 

 

So here we are, and he’s actually quite happy with the game—if you enjoy turn-based strategy or just liked the first one, you should probably go ahead and get this one as well (if you didn’t already).  Maybe be smarter than we were and get the DLC at the same time?

 

 

If you do, your loved ones will soon know the joy of only seeing you with a controller in your hand.

 

 

 

HIM:  Mind if I play a mission before bed?
ME:  (bites arm)
HIM:  (reaches for controller with free arm)
ME:  (around arm) rrrrrrr…
HIM:  (laughs)
ME:  (releases arm)  Bet you didn’t know, all those years ago, that you would marry a piranha-cat.
HIM:  Nope.  But I’m okay with it.  (pets head)

 

 

cat biting

 

 

 

 

 

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13 comments on “Happy Fucking Birthday, PT 2

  1. Jen says:

    I think all cats are piranha-cats. Especially mine. She is old with lots of issues and those issues involve lots of biting. 😦 I’m glad he liked the game!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You should have bought him the game I suggested on your guessing game blog. If nothing else it would amuse you while he’s playing the game. What do I know though, because I bought The Viking an actual Battle Axe and a real shield which was kind of stupid. I should have bought them for me first. No one wants to argue with a Viking that has an axe and shield unless you’ve got them yourself for self defence. :o)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LittleFears says:

    Aha, so if my missus is late night gaming and won’t come to bed, I can just bite her arm until she turns the PC off?… Interesting… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Bryce Warden says:

    Marriage is hard. Boys are weird.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I considered marrying a girl, but negotiations broke down when we both wanted boyfriends and weren’t willing to go timeshare on the master bedroom. We’re still friends, and happier this way: I got a spouse who won’t wake me up in the middle of the night to sketch out new costume ideas and she got a spouse who doesn’t drag home more glitter than she does.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. MindOverMeta says:

    So typical that you order direct from hubby’s wishlist and he then says it’s wrong! What on earth?!

    Like

  6. Men! They’re never fucking happy unless they’ve something to moan about. A good kick up the arse for his next birthday I’d say 🙄🎂🎂🎂

    Liked by 1 person

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