Halloween Wrap-Up

 

My haunting season is officially over, though I’ve still got to face one final wave of the unwashed masses.

 

Bratty trick or treating kids at door

Truly horrifying

 

 

You germy bastards are for sure trying to kill me.  But you won’t win this year!

 

Speaking of, before I forget (again) this happened when I went for my migraine injections recently:

 

 

RECEPTIONIST:  And have you traveled outside the country or been exposed to anyone with the flu virus in the last 30 days?
ME:  Travel no, but flu almost certainly.
RECEPTIONIST:  (terrified look)
ME:  I work in a haunted house.  People are nasty.
RECEPTIONIST:  Um… do you know for sure that any of them—
ME:  I touch over 500 people on a slow night.  About half of them wipe their noses right before getting up in my space.  I assume that all of them were carrying something horrible and nobody ever washes their hands.
RECEPTIONIST:  … (looks ill, leans away)  We’ll call you in a bit.

 

 

hazmat suit

“The Doctor will see you now.”

 

 

But I’ve miraculously survived without catching a plague this year, which means either my immune system is badass or that essential oils aren’t pure bullshit.  Probably a little bit of both, since I can still be brought low by the things Offspring brings home.

 

In other news, the weather is finally turning—or, if you ‘re not buying into that climate change hoax, our autumn temperatures are right on schedule and I’ve always been able to leave my sweaters packed away until mid-November—so we’re in that narrow sweet spot where I’m done bitching about the heat (humidemies) and not yet losing toes to frostbite.

 

Husband kicked on the heat, just to be safe; this isn’t his first rodeo.

 

 

ME:  Ugh, I did not sleep well last night.
HIM:  Because of the cold?
ME:  No… I wore comfy jammies.
HIM:  Ah.
ME:  Because… you’re going to laugh at me.
HIM:  (sighs, braces)
ME:  I kept waking up because I kept having these dreams.
HIM:  (concerned)
ME:  I was doing makeup in the trailer—you know, working on really close detail—and I’d step back to check the overall effect and BAM!  Scary fucking monster face in my face.
HIM:  (laughs)
ME:  I said don’t laugh!
HIM:  (still laughing)  I wish I remembered my dreams… maybe then I could have a blog.
ME:  Tch.  Doubt it.  You don’t even like haunted houses.

 

 

scare reaction at haunted house

What’s not to love?

 

 

Now to spend the next few weeks catching up on some reading, world events, and Netflix.*  Give me a week or two to rest up and I’ll be ready to coat the house in glitter for Christmas!**

 

 

 

* Offspring and I managed to binge all the Saw movies in one epic marathon, but I still need to snuggle up with Husband for Stranger things.

** No, I am not kidding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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8 comments on “Halloween Wrap-Up

  1. Victor K says:

    Man, I wish I could handle haunted houses. Jump scares aren’t so much a problem, more the crippling fear of being touched. (Yes, that does occasionally apply to my spouse and child as well. It’s not fun.)

    Also, glad I’m not the only one who hasn’t seen Stranger Things season 2 yet. We have to finish season 2 of Preacher first.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My haunt has a general rule against touching (my act and one other is excluded from this, because literally no one has ever complained about either). There are haunts that have no-touching rules but I won’t lie to you—the number is dwindling as people demand a more “extreme” experience.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. LittleFears says:

    Never really took off in the UK. I reckon some cheesy haunted house fun would be awesome though. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You know, I’ve never been to a haunted house. (They’re not big in Australia either)

    Liked by 1 person

    • You could start one! And you could go door to door on Halloween demanding candy—I’m sure it wouldn’t get weird at all, and your people would eagerly embrace the tradition.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Trick or treating is apparently more of a thing here these days, but I’ve never experienced it. I was really hoping this year we’d get some costumed kids knocking at our door (first time in my life that I’ve lived on street where it might happen), but nothing doing. And now I have to eat all the lollies I bought (which is the silver lining, I guess).

        Liked by 1 person

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