Well, it’s Saturday again… did anyone else notice it took its sweet time this week?
That’s it, Saturday—this is going on your review. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re irreplaceable; we’ve switched up our calendar before, and I personally think poor Pluto deserves a spot on the calendar after that whole “not a real planet” scandal.
If you’re thinking I’ve gone mad, you’re clearly new here. Which is fine, I’m just going to need you to lift up your shirt, place your right hand on the screen just here, and recite the sacred oath of—holy fuck I was so messing with you for the love of God please pull your shirt down! Seriously, there’s only one requirement for new readers, and it’s simple: click any of the handy Not Exactly Motivational links (that one there will do nicely) and read up on our history and mission statement; there’s even a way to see all the past NEM posts, so you can catch up. Once I’m sure you know what you’re getting into, you can continue on just like all the cool kids are about to do.