Welcome back to another Very Special Saturday here at ACWMH Enterprises Inc.* I’m super-excited about this Saturday because it’s a nice lazy one for me… got my cocoa—someone asked for my recipe, and I promise, it’s coming—my puppies, basically everything I could possibly want. I might never leave the couch again!
Alas, this is exactly why we need NEM Saturdays! Without these little flashes of motivatilism, you’d all loaf about in your altogether altogethers until you died and your rotting flesh melted into the upholstery! Because let’s face it: your week was shit, and next week isn’t looking any better. Plus, soon there’ll be all that family shit to deal with—you need “motivation” like woah. So get to it!
Unless you’re new here. I see you, lurking New Kid. Yeah, better click this here Not Exactly Motivational link, so you can be sure of what you’re getting into—and we can be sure you’ve got the right sense of humor to hang with us. Don’t worry—we’ll wait for you.
* Not an actual corporation for tax purposes. Currently seeking religious exemption, as I have been informed by several scarf-wearing college students that all taxation is theft. Therefore, we will be holding auditions for the role of Worshipper; this is an unpaid position, though rapture is guaranteed**
** “Guarantee” requires sufficient population of Worshippers capable of providing this service. Applicants may be required to submit letters of reference from previous sexual partners.