Thus far, I have presented myself as an expert in marital communications. And it’s true, I’m better at these things than you are—I mean, I’m better at most things than you are* but especially communicating with my spouse.
This is not to say I’m perfect at it.
In fact, as I recently discovered, Husband and I would fail at Charades… which is weird, because I’ve done very well at Bag of Nouns (where we had to use only one word and eventually only gestures to guess the nouns related to our theme… which was “prominent political figures” ffs) so obviously other people get me just fine. But whatever… we’ll practice.
Anyway, that’s what I’m working on this week. Good talk. See you next time!
Still here? Why?
Oh, for the love of—you seriously need an example?
Fine. Fine. Here, have a look at this.
ME: (answers phone)
ME: (signals, hangs up)
ME: (repeats signals) 3:20 on Tuesday with Dr B. Did you not get that?
HIM: I got that you were probably saying 3:20 but then there was another two and I was lost.
ME: Oh. Well, how should I signal Tuesday? (gestures possible alternatives)
HIM: Or you could just fucking say it.
HIM: It’s a recording. You’re not going to offend anyone by talking over them.
ME: Oh. (shrugs)
HIM: Flashing me gang signs instead of talking to me…
I don’t know why you continue to doubt me. I’m not the unreasonable one in this relationship.
* Exceptions include peeing outside and knowing when to shut up. I’ve resigned myself to just never having either of those skills, and I think I’ve proven it’s possible to live a full, rich life without either.