This Christmas has been especially hectic for me—for reasons I hope to reveal very soon—and I confess I’ve left myself very little time for blogging, blog reading, or any of the other blog-related things I usually do all week long. Instead, I’ve been picking time’s pocket, pilfering stray minutes to get my Christmas cards out (yeah, that happened so embarrassingly late that no international cards could go out this year), paint uncooperative teenagers for the school play (then spending hours after trimming green out of my cuticles, because when you use the cheap stuff it stains), wrangle Husband and Offspring into their Christmas shopping because they keep thinking they’ve got weeks left to go (they manifestly do not), and do 100% of my shopping online because I don’t have time to leave the house for anything that isn’t one of the 87 bajillion errands that crop up each day.
All of this to say I’m about to get lazy on your asses. I’m going to recycle material.
Well, only technically. See, most of you don’t even know about this one, since it occurred back in the early days of the Facebook page.* Plus, it was sort of relevant to a thing that literally just happened, so I threw it in. Ooh, it’s like a throwback bonus! Only I’m posting it on Tuesday, so… whatever.
As The Harbinger of Christmas Spirit, it’s not surprising that I’ve got loads of gift wrap. I actually haven’t counted them all, mostly because every time I think I’ve got them all in one room I stumble across one I’d left out somewhere else. For this reason, I am forever on the hunt for more and better gift wrap storage. One year, I thought I’d found a clever solution that I will not link to you because it was actually awful. But it was a storage box for gift wrap, and I ordered it off amazon, and when it arrived I left the amazon box in the living room because I wasn’t ready to put gift wrap away yet anyway. Husband noticed the box and asked what I’d ordered. “A box,” I replied. He nodded, and that was the end of it… until much later that night.
HIM: So what’s in the box?
ME: A box.
HIM: But what’s IN the box?
ME: It’s a BOX.
HIM: But when you get boxes they have things IN them… so what’s in the box?!
ME: A BOX!
HIM: What, you ordered an empty box from amazon?
HIM: (puzzled look)
ME: Have we JUST met?
HIM: You hurt my head like 1AM. G’night.
Honestly, even if it hadn’t been a box specifically for gift wrap, me paying good money for empty boxes is a well-documented phenomenon. My usual prize is tiny boxes, of the sort you can’t really fit anything in, but I’m also a big fan of those big plastic tubs and organizer bins. Especially the color-coded kind.
I always feel that I could get my life in order if only I had the right set of containers, you know?
Anyway, that conversation sprang to mind this morning, when this happened
ME: What was at the door?
HIM: … Amazon boxes.
ME: Oh, good.
HIM: So I’m gonna go move—
ME: Addressed to me or to you?
HIM: (purses lips) One is to you. I’m gonna go… move the other—
ME: O-kaaay… no big deal, just stash ‘em. Our son is past the age of snooping for Christmas presents.
HIM: Are you? (turns downstairs)
ME: (rolls eyes, follows) I’ve got some stuff to do this morning, but then I’ll—oh, crap!
HIM: Apparently not.
ME: You didn’t tell me there was this much for me to deal with!
HIM: It’s not for you to deal with!
ME: Oh. Oh, just the one, that’s right. Well, move yours out of the way then, so I don’t stress myself. I’m expecting a lot of packages and this is just winding me up.
* Once upon a time, I was too shy** to start an actual blog for all this stuff, and a friend had to bully me into making the Conversations public by creating the Facebook page then making me the admin.
** Yes, really. Really. Oh, shut up.