What’s in the Box???


This Christmas has been especially hectic for me—for reasons I hope to reveal very soon—and I confess I’ve left myself very little time for blogging, blog reading, or any of the other blog-related things I usually do all week long.  Instead, I’ve been picking time’s pocket, pilfering stray minutes to get my Christmas cards out (yeah, that happened so embarrassingly late that no international cards could go out this year), paint uncooperative teenagers for the school play (then spending hours after trimming green out of my cuticles, because when you use the cheap stuff it stains),  wrangle Husband and Offspring into their Christmas shopping because they keep thinking they’ve got weeks left to go (they manifestly do not), and do 100% of my shopping online because I don’t have time to leave the house for anything that isn’t one of the 87 bajillion errands that crop up each day. 


All of this to say I’m about to get lazy on your asses.  I’m going to recycle material.


recycled content icon

Don’t think of it as lazy; think of it as environmentally friendly.




Well, only technically.  See, most of you don’t even know about this one, since it occurred back in the early days of the Facebook page.*  Plus, it was sort of relevant to a thing that literally just happened, so I threw it in.  Ooh, it’s like a throwback bonus!  Only I’m posting it on Tuesday, so… whatever.


As The Harbinger of Christmas Spirit, it’s not surprising that I’ve got loads of gift wrap.  I actually haven’t counted them all, mostly because every time I think I’ve got them all in one room I stumble across one I’d left out somewhere else.  For this reason, I am forever on the hunt for more and better gift wrap storage.  One year, I thought I’d found a clever solution that I will not link to you because it was actually awful.  But it was a storage box for gift wrap, and I ordered it off amazon, and when it arrived I left the amazon box in the living room because I wasn’t ready to put gift wrap away yet anyway.  Husband noticed the box and asked what I’d ordered.  “A box,” I replied.  He nodded, and that was the end of it… until much later that night.



HIM: So what’s in the box?
ME: A box.
HIM: But what’s IN the box?
ME: It’s a BOX.
HIM: But when you get boxes they have things IN them… so what’s in the box?!
HIM: What, you ordered an empty box from amazon?
ME: Yes.
HIM: (puzzled look)
ME: Have we JUST met?
HIM: You hurt my head like 1AM. G’night.


Brad Pitt (Se7en) "What's in the fucking box?)

Had to be done.


Honestly, even if it hadn’t been a box specifically for gift wrap, me paying good money for empty boxes is a well-documented phenomenon.  My usual prize is tiny boxes, of the sort you can’t really fit anything in, but I’m also a big fan of those big plastic tubs and organizer bins.  Especially the color-coded kind.


I always feel that I could get my life in order if only I had the right set of containers, you know?


Anyway, that conversation sprang to mind this morning, when this happened



ME:  What was at the door?
HIM:  … Amazon boxes.
ME:  Oh, good.
HIM:  So I’m gonna go move—
ME:  Addressed to me or to you?
HIM:  …
ME:  ?
HIM:  (purses lips)  One is to you.  I’m gonna go… move the other—
ME:  O-kaaay… no big deal, just stash ‘em.  Our son is past the age of snooping for Christmas presents.
HIM:  Are you?  (turns downstairs)
ME:  (rolls eyes, follows)  I’ve got some stuff to do this morning, but then I’ll—oh, crap!
HIM:  Apparently not.
ME:  You didn’t tell me there was this much for me to deal with!
HIM:  It’s not for you to deal with!
ME:  Oh.  Oh, just the one, that’s right.  Well, move yours out of the way then, so I don’t stress myself.  I’m expecting a lot of packages and this is just winding me up.
HIM:  Snooping!



stressed woman wrapping Christmas gifts

The Harbinger of Christmas Spirit gets stressed too!  Of course, she makes her own bows, so some think she brings it on herself…











* Once upon a time, I was too shy** to start an actual blog for all this stuff, and a friend had to bully me into making the Conversations public by creating the Facebook page then making me the admin.


** Yes, really.  Really.  Oh, shut up.









4 comments on “What’s in the Box???

  1. Arionis says:

    Too shy? I can barely “contain” my laughter. Who am I kidding? They don’t make a box strong enough to hold that in…buuwhahahahahahaha!

    I totally get it on the package delivery. As more and more of our Christmas shopping is done online (one shared Amazon account) we have a hell of a time sorting out the distribution without ruining surprises.

    Liked by 1 person

    • They added a feature this year with no fanfare whatsoever… Amazon Families. Now you can link amazon accounts (I think they still have to be in the same household) to share prime shipping and other benefits without having to share an account. I reeeeeeally wish they’d made some announcement of this, because we did our usual thing of changing the email to something I don’t check and sharing the account this year (because I have yet to find the magical combination of settings that will route all amazon “thanks for ordering SPOILER” emails to a secret “open after Christmas” folder) and we had some items arrive damaged. Exchange claims and tracking without being able to search order history got… interesting.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s