ǝpᴉsuI ǝzᴉɹԀ

 

Hey, let’s do that thing where I tell you about a thing that happened and you tell me* who was right, who was wrong, and who should be ashamed of their actions that day.**

 

Tracy Morgan "I would like to do that, please"

 

 

 

HIM:  I stayed up so late last night, I didn’t even notice my pills had kicked in until I woke up at my desk, reading your post.  So, about 3am?
ME:  That explains it.
HIM:  Explains what?
ME:  About 5am, you started snoring—
HIM:  I can’t—
ME:  (snores)  Open mouth, right over the damned CPAP.
HIM:  (laughs)
ME:  And I was on my other side, clinging to the side of the bed, so I couldn’t move farther away from you.  So I reached around (demonstrates) and—smack—“roll over!”
HIM:  I don’t—
ME:  Then you yelled, “NO!” and went right back to (demonstrates godawful sound of walrus choking on a plague mask)
HIM:  (laughs)
ME:  Which is why, when my alarm finally went off and you mumbled “turn it off!” I thought, “NO!” and left it.
HIM:  I didn’t—
ME:  Then I got out of the shower and the lights were still off, so I was being all quiet, but you weren’t in bed after all!  So I opened the door to yell at you—“Why wouldn’t you turn on the lights?”—but you weren’t at your desk, either?
HIM:  Where was I?
ME:  (shrugs)  Dunno, probably gone taking him to school or something.  So I ended up yelling at the empty house for a while.
HIM:  I wouldn’t admit that.
ME:  Seriously?  With all the stupid shit you do?
HIM:  Yeah, but I don’t admit it.

 

therapeutic scream

Scream therapy.  Try it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* And, by extension, him.  Don’t forget, he reads this blog too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                ˙ɹǝpɹo ʇɐɥʇ uI  ˙ǝW ʇoN ‘ɯᴉH ‘ǝW :NOI┴∩˥OS **

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 comments on “ǝpᴉsuI ǝzᴉɹԀ

  1. Sherry says:

    His fault. Why? He’s alive and he is a guy. That’s what I tell hubby all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jen says:

    I think no one is at fault. He was most likely sleep talking and not realizing what was going on. My Husband used to do this all the time in his sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Arionis says:

    K. I’m at work and have not read past the jump but I’m going to answer this anyway.
    You’re right. He’s wrong. Someone not related should be ashamed of themselves?
    Not being new here, I’m pretty sure I got the first two right. I’ll update later after reading the whole thing if needed.

    Liked by 1 person

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