I Can’t Planner

 

I took to this planner thing like a duck to oil.

Rachel McAdams' confused reaction "wait, what?"

 

Dammit, I did the thing again.  Let me back up.

 

 

For ages now, I’ve been listening to others extol the virtues of paper planners.  My blogger and writer friends (a supportive bunch to whom you owe every word I’ve given you these past years, because without them I’d have burned the towel long before throwing it in) claim planners are an invaluable tool for “getting your shit organized,” a thing which I do not do but have always wanted to try.

 

And then, one fine day… Husband let me go to the craft store unsupervised.  Worse, he sent me with my friend K, whom you will recall is basically me only shorter. 

 

K:  Oh my god, they have these planners!  And they’re 70% off!  (brandishes planner)
ME:  Oh… kay?
K:  You don’t understand, these are life.
ME:  No… they’re planners.
K:  But look!  You can add pages, and switch things around, and there’s tabs, and (blathers on)
ME:  They’re planners.  It’s more work, more stress, and… honestly, I know some people swear by them but they just don’t work for me.
K:  (already shopping)  I need a new one anyway…
ME:  Good lord, what is all this?
K:  This is how I get my life organized!
ME:  (whips out phone)  This is how I get my life organized.  And it’s always in the same font, the same color, and I can change shit without crossing it out.
K:  I hear you.  But I need it in book form.  Plus (grabs smaller package) STICKERS!
ME:  What are you, four?

 

 

I was feeling pretty good about myself, with my calendar and my note apps… but then this other woman came along, and the two of them started talking planners and I was bored.

 

I started looking at planners.

 

The inevitable happened.

 

planner open to sparkly new month tab which reads, "Throw some glitter in today's face!" A fluffy pen rests on facing page.

 

First off, to everyone who ever suggested planners before only to be rebuffed: you didn’t tell me about fluffy pens and glitter.  This only proves that you don’t know me at all, or didn’t really care.  Fluffy pens were clearly the way to sell this thing.

 

Second: it’s already going about how you’d expect for someone who can’t keep a diary because my handwriting from page to page doesn’t match and it throws me off, and losing the pen I started with means the whole thing’s wrecked.

 

 

ME:  HONEY!!
HIM:  (sighs the sigh of the Lifer)
ME:  (charges into office covered in correcting tape)  I’ve spent the last 20 minutes trying to fix this (thrusts mangled tape applicator for inspection)  because I wrote a thing on the wrong date.  I don’t think planners are for me.
HIM:  (inspecting heap of 99c plastic)  Yeah, that’s not fixable.
ME:  Well not now!
HIM:  What do you expect me to do about it?
ME:  (whimpers)  So sticky…
HIM:  (picking mess out of my hands)  So you came upstairs to find the nearest adult because your hands were sticky?  What are you, four?

 

 

Don’t worry: I bought two fluffy pens.

 

two fluffy-topped pens (in packaging) on closed planner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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30 comments on “I Can’t Planner

  1. Yes paper planners have never worked for me. I remember the halcyon days of the Filofax. Nope. Not interested. But fluffy pens? That’s a whole other story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank goodness there is someone brave enough to say the beautiful planner thing is not for them. I am with you on this after making one myself and my daughter asking whether a child had made it! Great post

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I used to buy planners when I was student. It was false motivation in making me feel productive. Then I faced up to the fact that I excel in chaos, burned the planner and got on with my studies.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, a whiteboard was more my speed for tracking my to-do list back then. Now it’s all in my phone and my only delusion is boxes.

      I still believe if I had the right containers I’d finally get my shit together. Husband has resigned himself to a life surrounded by boxes and a wife who squeals at bins.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. alawrenceg says:

    I can’t organize, paper or electronic. I can’t write outlines for any stories either, though come to think of it, I don’t write stories anymore. Connection? I don’t think so. I also throw all of my receipts in a big container, and if there’s ever any need, it takes me time to go through them one by one to find the one I want, but LESS time than it would have spent to keep them all organized in the first place. I also can’t remember anybody’s name and the people who teach you how to do that, don’t know anything. They are just naturally good at something that can’t be taught, just like the people who organize. Don’t let them try to change you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lisa Orchard says:

    I used a planner in the past and it helped me remember things because I wrote them down. I need another planner for this year. I keep messing up my kids’s orthodontists appointments!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lisa Orchard says:

    P.S. I love the fluffy pens!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I am a paper planner kind of girl. But, I am trying, without success to use my phone to organize my life. I usually just end up sending funny Gifs to my husband and get nothing done.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I would get absolutely nothing done or ever be where I need to be without mine.Plus, I find it kind of therapeutic crossing stuff off

    Liked by 1 person

    • See, people keep saying that to me and I’m like, “where do you get the one that talks to you?!?” Because if it wasn’t for the alerts on my phone, I wouldn’t get shit done or be where I need to be. Even fun things… I’d get caught in a loop doing laundry or clipping the dogs’ nails and totally space that I’m supposed to be having dinner with friends.

      Like

  9. Angela says:

    Heeeeee. Truth!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi, I love this!! I really don’t get it either….thanks for sharing on BUYB! I’ve shared your fab post on my PainPals regular feature Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You! And….there can never be enough glitter and fluffy pens! Claire x
    https://painpalsblog.wordpress.com/2018/03/12/monday-magic-inspiring-blogs-for-you-40/

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Life hack: you can use fluffy pens, glitter and stickers (stickers are magical and I don’t care if that makes me four) for things that are not planners.

    (I am also a phone person when it comes to organisation).

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Movie Addict says:

    Digital calendars have never worked for me. I love my paper planner. I don’t judge people, because what works for me will likely never work for you. My sister my mom and I each have a happy planner, but we use ours in different ways and decorate in different ways. So if it works for you, go back to your digital planner, and use your fluffy pens to write in your journal about how crazy the rest of us are 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • So far I’ve been using the paper planner for blog stuff (because I really only work from my desk, so it’s right there) and it’s working okay… nice to have all that stuff in one place that’s not the same as my appointments, birthdays, and weekend plans but I can’t imagine hauling it around for real life. Props to people who are organized enough to keep track of the damned things!

      Like

      • Movie Addict says:

        I love the decorating aspect of it because that makes it fun. If it’s not fun I won’t do it. I’ve tried every type of planner there is. I tried customizing a Digital, but it just doesn’t do it for me. A person needs to connect with her “get my shit together” plan, so if that’s Digital, then you do you boo!

        Liked by 1 person

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