Easter Happened (Yes, Really)

 

You know that thing where he claims this blog is all about me as though he’s never read the title or any of the posts?

"yeah, but..." sort of raised eyebrow/head tilt expression

 

I’m fed up, and about to disprove his bullshit theory once and for all by posting a conversation that’s nothing to do with me because I wasn’t even there.  HA!

 

 

In fact, I won’t even offer any background.  Because that would be too much me in this post that—like everything else on these pages, as everyone knows—is about him.

 

HIM:  I’m gonna get going.
AUDREY:  What?  Why?
HIM:  Oh, we’ve got Easter shopping to do, so I should get home.
AUDREY:  (confused stare)
HIM:  For Easter baskets.
AUDREY:  Dude, you know your kid is grown and gone, right?  That exempts you from all Easter basket bullshit.
HIM:  Yeah, but while he was with us we used to also do baskets for the dogs; they’re used to it, so we decided there’s no reason to end the tradition just because he’s not here to enjoy it.  Plus, I like my candy holidays.  So we ordered one of those big wireframe totes like you—
AUDREY:  She asked me where I got mine, and I wondered what was up with that!
HIM:  That’s going to be their Easter basket.
AUDREY:  Oh my god.  (laughs)
HIM:  Yeah, it’s pretty big.
AUDREY:  (cannot stop laughing)
HIM:  …
AUDREY:  (still laughing)  Your wife is ridiculous, and I love it.
HIM:  (nods)

 

Astute readers may discern, perhaps even complain, that this conversation did take a turn toward the me but you can’t say it’s my fault—these people talk about me behind my back, then describe it to me independent of one another and on separate occasions. 

 

HUSBAND:  So when I was leaving I told Audrey that we were going shopping for Easter basket stuff and she said… then I said… then…

 

One Week Later... (SpongeBob-style time card, text on patterned background)

 

AUDREY:  How are the Easter baskets coming?  Did your husband tell you what I said when he told me about them?  I was like… and then he…

 

It should be noted that for all their eagerness to tattle report on one another, their accounts didn’t quite match; this is why I don’t usually rely on outside testimony for my Conversations, in case anyone wondered.  Amateurs aren’t used to recording every detail and inflection of every exchange, 24/7, on the off-chance something might turn out to be funny on repetition to Internet Strangers.* 

 

And, because I know you’re curious now, here’s the basket.

GIANT stuffed rabbit sits next to massive wireframe tote overstuffed with plush toys, glitter egg gift boxes, marshmallow peep bunnies, and more

The smaller one is Husband’s; he really does insist on a big basket of chocolate and who am I to say no?

 

Yes, that’s a bunny the size of a small child.  He wouldn’t fit in the basket. 

 

There’s a slight chance Audrey was right about me.

 

 

 

 

 

* In this case, Beloved Internet Strangers, or BIS for short.**  I’m trying it out; thoughts?

** I did think of calling you Really Cool Internet Strangers, but that would be RCIS and it seems that name is taken.

 

 

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16 comments on “Easter Happened (Yes, Really)

  1. Ritu says:

    I’d love someone to make me an Easter basket! And see… You affect so many lives.. .that’s why they talk about You!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Arionis says:

    Wow, that’s still a pretty good haul for an “empty nest” Easter holiday. When the last kid was out of the house we still continued on for ourselves and the dogs, for a while. Over the years it’s tapered off. This year there was a single Cadbury Egg for each of us and a doggy donut shaped in an Easter egg for the furry kids.

    I totally approve of the BIS biz.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I bought 30 eggs and not one of my kids called on Easter Sunday. Got texts on Monday to say they’d be down to visit. I text back ” sorry, I won’t be here, I’m off to the pub with your da” 😂😂😂 That’ll teach them !!
    Love your bunny btw 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My husband and I (no kids) have a tradition where we do a hard easter egg hunt for each other.

    I hold the egg-hiding record from the first year we did it. It took him two weeks to find the last egg (it was in his coat pocket).

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Adeline says:

    My mom still makes me an Easter basket every year… I moved out over 10 years ago LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  6. emmaclaire says:

    This is funny. Princess complained the year she was a high school freshman because I didn’t do anything for Easter. It was one of the years when it came very early, and I honestly lost track of it. So I told her she was in charge of reminding me in subsequent as we got close to the date. Which she did every year through the rest of high school. Then both kids were gone off to college and I thought I was off the hook. BUT, she was home this year on spring break, so I dutifully bought her a basket – and it was FAB, I must say; candy and pretty stationery and smelly candles and stickers and packets of mocha for her to just add booze to – pretty thoughtful, huh? Well, she did say thank you, but then said “I didn’t even know today was Easter!” Damn! I could have gotten away with no basket, or kept all the goodies for myself…

    Liked by 1 person

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