We Are the Worst

 

Just a quick one today. 

 

Super quick.  Practically a one-liner, really.

 

I’m not busy or anything, I’m just pretty sure I’m going to piss a lot of people off with this one and I want to get it over with and move on to the torch-and-pitchfork stage.

(The Simpsons) angry torch-and-pitchfork mob

 

 

Husband, you need to understand, has always been a horrible person.  Always.  This is part of what attracted me to him because I, too, am a horrible person.  We’re two terrible people who found each other and if nothing else about this post pleases you, think of the fact that that’s two fewer terrible people available to date someone you love.

 

Ready?

 

I was on the phone with my friend Alexis the other day…

 

 

ME:  (hangs up)
HIM:  That was quick
ME:  She had to put the baby down.
HIM:  Aww… sad.  So she’s only got two kids now?
ME:  (laughing)  You’re terrible.
HIM:  (high fives)

 

 

Man and woman facing viewer look at each other, then away; text overlay reads, "You're the Worst"

I warned you.

 

 

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19 comments on “We Are the Worst

  1. emilypageart says:

    This might actually be my favorite one. Not sure what that says about me…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Losing the Plot says:

    When you get to hell, go straight to the bar, I’ll have a drink set up ready for you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As we say in Dublin “You’re terrible Muriel” 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh, my gosh, that was a laugh out loud read. I had to go to tell my husband.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ally Bean says:

    I like how you two converse. Funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I find this dark and offensive. I like you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ann says:

    Didn’t piss me off at all, I’m still laughing. You guys aren’t terrible people you both just have a superior humor gene.
    I’m jealous.

    Liked by 1 person

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