Just a quick one today.
Super quick. Practically a one-liner, really.
I’m not busy or anything, I’m just pretty sure I’m going to piss a lot of people off with this one and I want to get it over with and move on to the torch-and-pitchfork stage.
Husband, you need to understand, has always been a horrible person. Always. This is part of what attracted me to him because I, too, am a horrible person. We’re two terrible people who found each other and if nothing else about this post pleases you, think of the fact that that’s two fewer terrible people available to date someone you love.
I was on the phone with my friend Alexis the other day…
ME: (hangs up)
HIM: That was quick
ME: She had to put the baby down.
HIM: Aww… sad. So she’s only got two kids now?
ME: (laughing) You’re terrible.
HIM: (high fives)