In Sickness and in Health…

 

Husband has been getting stuffed up at night.  Sinuses, you know, can tell time.

 

I’m sure this results in a great deal of discomfort for him but we’re here to talk about the effect on me and why I can’t get a decent night’s sleep, so let’s dive right into that, shall we?

(Happy Bunny) It's all about me. Deal with it.

 

 

ME:  I woke up at some point because your CPAP got louder.
HIM:  It got unplugged at one point, so when I put it back on the pressure was higher.
ME:  But this is my anxiety at night.  I wake up every time your machine does something and wonder, “Is this how he dies?”
HIM:  You wanted me to get it.
ME:  (shakes head)
HIM:  To stop the snoring.
ME:  No, I wanted to stop the snoring.
HIM:  You could’ve done that with a pillow!
ME:  I thought they would break your nose.
HIM:  …
ME:  … And do it again every time you snore.
HIM:  You could’ve done that!
ME:  Yeah, but—
HIM:  You’d just have to drive me to the hospital after.
ME:  See, that’s the part I’m not okay with!  Why should I have to drive you around in my jammies just ‘cuz you snored?
HIM:  You said “in sickness and in health!”
ME:  I said no such thing!*

 

(Clueless) Alicia Silverstone saying, "As if!"

 

 

 

 

* It’s true.  Mostly I promised to still find him sexy after sharing a bathroom for twenty years and he promised to always hang up his wet towels.**  So far, so good.

** One of the great benefits to getting married the way we did: we got to do our own vows, which we made up as we went.  We figured the point was to promise to marry each other, which… done!

 

 

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9 comments on “In Sickness and in Health…

  1. Jack Herlocker says:

    Still waiting for the wedding story! Don’t use the “it’s in the book, be patient” excuse; people publish excerpts. When they have something to publish…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Are blocked sinuses classed as ‘sickness’? I’d have used the pillow if I was you 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. bexoxo says:

    This reminds me- i recently saw a Google translated version of ‘For better or worse. ‘Till death do us part,’ which read: For higher or worse, ’till dying do us half. 😀

    That is all.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Jack Herlocker says:

    Also: ear plugs. Something I’ve used the last couple nights, as my wonderful wife’s (normally gentle) snores have awakened me to the sounds of someone dragging a dumpster down our driveway. (She has a bad cold.)

    Liked by 1 person

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