We’ve got a weird combination of boring conversations:
ME: Can we work on getting the media room more set up this weekend?
HIM: Yeah, we can do that. Maybe get some space for dog pillows? Oh, and I can put the latch on the storage shed.
ME: That would be nice. Thank you.
… And dramatic ones:
ME: … So basically I’ve been freaking out all day and I’m—
HIM: Yeah, this is… I don’t even know what we’re going to do.
ME: RIGHT?!?
The first is so dull I felt stupid even typing it out for you. The second… refers to a situation that has been building, yet the full shittiness was only just revealed to me. And don’t want to vent about it here because, frankly, I just sent y’all on my emotional Tower of Terror and that’s not what this blog is supposed to be.
(checks site description)
Yeah, apparently this is meant to be a humor blog. Holy fuck, have we got off-track or what?
But.
If I only hint that there’s a whole thing going on… oof, I can already feel your collective outrage.
I propose a compromise: I will tell you all about it after we have some fun.
What kind of fun?
Oh, I think it’s time for another edition of…
Okay, so my day had been shitty and dramatic and had included a visit from An Official Person who told me all sorts of Things that put our world into a tailspin. I waited as long as I could stand—shout out to Alexander Hamilton for his assistance in containing my panic—before calling Husband, who was Unavailable. So I texted him, laying out the situation.
Yet somehow, when he called at the end of the day, he was unaware of what all had gone down. How? He hadn’t actually got all my texts.
Naturally I exploded when he got home, spewing anxiety-confetti all over him.
ME: … And it was just a really bad day for your phone to be on the fritz!
HIM: It wasn’t on the fritz.
ME: ?
This is where you come in.
Knowing that:
- I sent several messages explaining that day’s dramalympics as they unfolded.
- Calls to Husband’s phone initially went straight to voicemail.
- Husband received only some of the texts I sent, leaving him unaware of why I was upset (“Wait, what guy? Why are you so upset?”)
What do you think his explanation was for his phone’s behavior?
I’ll give you a hint, and only because it was my first thought and he’d already refuted it:
No, he did not turn his phone off or mute it.
For once.
Guess away, and I’ll see you in the comments!
He had to get new SIM card, so the phone was offline while the telco moved his number to the new SIM.
Waits on tenterhooks for the actual answer…
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No, but THAT would have been a good excuse.
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Only one half of your new house has a mobile signal ?
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This reminds me of an actual issue I am having with the Meth Ghosts… post forthcoming.
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Ghosts.
Or, as someone who does software support for a living, the answer I get to use more often than I like to think about: “Because sometimes electronics are stupid. It’s just one of those things.”
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Just thought of an add on.
The AI that reads all of your texts didn’t think you were using appropriate language, young lady, and you should go and think about what you’ve done.
“IGNORE THIS FOOL, THEY ARE CLEARLY CRAZY. THERE IS NO AI READING YOUR TEXTS.”
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Dear Benevolent Overlords,
Not to worry, this sort of comment only inspires me to send my husband endless strings of dirty jokes and shocking pictures. You’ll get no end of training material out of me, promise.
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I like that you jumped straight to blaming the ghosts, but he wasn’t in the house and their influence seems limited to the actual structure.
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After time to think some more about actual likely explanations that would fit the description but also be unlikely … Was he on the phone with his family? Although that doesn’t really explain the missed texts.
Maybe hit his phone’s memory wall? I’ve only done it once, but it did mean texts didn’t stay around as new ones came in.
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No to family (though he is still calling on the regular in case I ever run out of the usual material) and I don’t think it was a memory issue. That happened to me once when my SD card glitched and music/photos were going to internal memory without my noticing, but I got a pop-up about it. He’d have mentioned a pop-up… I mean, he couldn’t have ignored a pop-up…
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Hmmm … Okay, last guess from me before admitting defeat. Some sort of message setting so it only receives if connected to wifi and his work wifi wasn’t stable? Doesn’t really cover the calls going direct to voicemail, mind you, unless something is putting the phone into a “do not disturb” state.
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No, but you’re really good at coming up with excuses – you really DID work tech support!
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You were identified as a spammer by his phone, and your texts flagged as INAPPROPRIATE and thus accidentally ignored.
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No, but now that I know that’s a thing I’m going to try it!
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He thinks he needs(wants!) a new phone?!
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He IS toying with the idea, but only because I got the new BlackBerry and he’s suddenly jel of my whizbang again.
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Husbands!! They’re all the same, they just have different faces so we can tell them apart!
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It’ll take him a while to make a change… he held on to his old flip phone for AGES.
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Hmmm…
1. You were sending the texts to fast and not all of them were getting through?
2. He was playing a game?
3. He accidentally deleted some texts?
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1. I do type fast, but no.
2. He was at work, so no. Also, he’s only just started reading books on his phone, so even in his off time games aren’t really a thing.
3. I think if that happened he would chuck his phone in the Mississippi and claim it was stolen. Which, for the record, was also not his excuse.
I fucking love this game!
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Reminds me of the time my Mom washed and dried my Dad’s phone. When she called to report this the Verizon Lady said “pants pocket?”
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Back in the day, Alexis’s then-boyfriend almost missed his opportunity to become her Mr. when he rolled down a snowy hill, over and over, with her PDA in his pocket. (Remember those? Remember when you could carry your cell phone and still need another device to keep your calendar and do other stuff?)
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Omigoodness. A PDA! That’s like having an abacus!
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Hmm. Was he in a weird cell signal dead zone? We have one of those at the older site of our hospital (where I work). The building is really old and used to be a sanitarium (for tuberculosis) but has been a mental health center for many years. Most of us think it’s haunted as f***. Texts won’t send for hours sometimes and won’t send at all others. Incoming cell phone stuff doesn’t work a lot of the times either. Even our work wifi is touchy there, despite the fact that there are wireless access points all over the building. It’s like a Bermuda Triangle for cell phone signals.
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Ghosts interfering with cell phones is a subject of some interest to me right now, but his work is 100% ghost-free. Which is probably for the best, from a flight safety perspective
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Was he anywhere near the Bermuda Triangle? That would explain a lot.
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While he does occasionally have to travel for work, on this day was right here in St. Louis. Maybe 30 minutes from home in serious traffic.
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This is fun!
He dropped his phone in a sink/toilet/body of water.
The battery was low.
He accidentally blocked your number.
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Trust me, if he ever blocks my number it won’t be an accident!
His phone was charged and dry.
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I loved this post, and the comments as well…after reading all of the excuses offered up, it seems he just didn’t want to communicate – since there were no signal problems, no missed message, nothing went to spam, and it appears no ghosts were involved!
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I did consider that possibility, which was how I approached the issue when he came home, but he seemed honestly confused and apologetic that he wasn’t up-to-date on everything, so I believe him.
This time.
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I can’t wait for the reveal on what the excuse was! And all of the comments you got were so entertaining as well!
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He forgot how to get the texts and deleted? Cause see I still have a flipphone and it works very well for not having to answer
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That hasn’t happened to him in a while now… like a year, lol
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Sunspot activity?
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That’s a possible explanation.
It’s not what he said, but that would have been a viable explanation for the phenomenon.
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Alien activity in the area? Or in outer space near one of the ‘very important for getting texts sent’ satellites?
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You’d think an engineer, working in the aerospace industry, would use the “Aliens” excuse more, wouldn’t you?
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