My Thing


Last week we had a good time poking a bit of fun at Husband’s newfound willingness to try out a chain restaurant now that it’s a “local tradition.”  It’s only fair that I put myself on the block as well, yeah?


However, mine is completely defensible, so it’ll be quick.  We’ll start with a question:


Is this food?

closeup of weird whiteish brainlike substance



"Is This Food?" poll.  Options are "that is food;" "That's not food;" Not sure, but I'd probably eat it either way;" and "Please stop showing me horrible things."


Trick question!  It’s something called provel cheese, which is sold as food but is clearly not for actual human consumption.*  Seriously, click that link—its claim to fame is that it’s practically liquid at room temperature, and it’s really only found here in St. Louis.  Why—in a cheese-loving nation, on a cheese-loving planet—would this stuff not have spread farther?  Because look at it.  It looks like brains, or possibly some sort of intestinal parasite.


HIM:  (points)  So there’s a St. Louis style salad…
ME:  (intrigued)  Oh?
HIM:  With that “provel” cheese on it.
ME:  Oh.  Ew.  No.
HIM:  (laughs)
ME:  Yeah, I think that’s gonna be the thing I skip while I live here.
HIM:  That’s gonna be your thing, huh?
ME:  Yep.
HIM:  Like the—
ME:  Cheese curds are not food!
HIM:  Wisconsin disagrees.
ME:  Food shouldn’t squeak.  (shudders)
HIM:  You’re just gonna travel from state to state, refusing to eat the local cheese?
ME:  I… I mean, I guess?  I hate to be that person, but…
HIM:  You can’t be “that person.”  That person doesn’t exist!
ME:  Yes I can, clearly, because I’m doing it!
HIM:  Okay, but you’d be the first one ever!
ME:  (quietly) I’m sure there are well-traveled vegans…




* People who willingly eat this stuff: yes, that was me judging you.  You make bad choices and should reconsider.

youth in McDonald's Hamburglar costume saying "The Hamburglar doesn't judge"

Save your cheesy excuses for this guy.




29 comments on “My Thing

  1. Jen says:

    I thought it was a close-up of Ramen noodles at first.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Jack Herlocker says:

    Curds? We love curds! Are you saying if you were in Curdistan you would *ignore* them? How would that even work?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh no you don’t! Don’t make me out to be the bad guy when they’re the ones doing unspeakable things to cheese!

      Except I’m not convinced cheese curds are real cheese. I had one in my mouth once (total accident—it was dark, I thought I was being offered a tater tot) and what I bit into bore no resemblance to any real dairy product. More like that weird vegan cheese? Which I’ve seen dogs refuse, so… yeah.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. bexoxo says:

    You can tell husband that I dislike cheese entirely, so yes, I travel (from state to state, country to country) refusing cheese.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. i can’t really eat cheese anymore, but even if I could I would definitely NOT eat that. I’ll be “that person” with ya.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jennybhatia says:

    I don’t even know what to say. Doesn’t look like cheese to me:)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Gale says:

    Cottage cheese? That’s full on curd action right there.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. So, I love your blog and I laugh out loud at it and make my husband listen as I read it aloud but not well, because I am guffawing all through it. I also hate it because I have to to to all the links and read and re-read the linked blogs and one post (today’s: 8/31) and take over 30 minutes to finish. I got stuck at the “poking a bit of fun” link and then I had to read all the links in that one, forever and ever, amen. I am now commenting and going back to things to refresh my memory and now my husband is annoyed because we are going somewhere this AM and I am not getting ready.
    I am your fan.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Evaine says:

    But if you don’t eat cheese curds, how do you have poutine??

    Liked by 1 person

  9. jen7iris says:

    Ugh – Provel “cheese” is the WORST. Beware of the “St. Louis Style” anything. Don’t EVER order the pizza. It will leave a strange film on the roof of your mouth. I mistakenly ordered pizza with provel on it a number of times when I moved here before I figured out to avoid any pizza on any menu that describes itself as St. Louis Style. Do not, under any circumstances, get IMO’s pizza if you don’t like provel. I do not and will not understand the local’s love for this fake cheese.

    Liked by 1 person

    • THANK YOU. I was so worried I’d catch hell from a provel-loving local over this! (Of course, I realized such a person would need to be shown the error of their ways and that would probably count as a good deed without having to leave the house so I only hesitated for a moment)

      Liked by 1 person

      • jen7iris says:

        Well, admittedly, I’m only a local in the sense that I’ve now lived here almost 10 years, not in the I’ve lived here my whole life kind of way. And generally, I find that most people who’ve lived here their whole lives love provel and those who are transplants to here don’t. There are a few outliers, but that’s what I’ve most often found to be true.

        Liked by 1 person

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