2019: In With a Sniffle

 

I really want to give you something special today.  I want to start 2019 off with a bang, you know?

 

But here’s the thing: I’m sick as a fucking dog* and dealing with some serious post-holiday blah on top of it all.

 

This was our first Christmas with Offspring as a (welcome!  So very welcome we almost didn’t let him leave) “visitor” rather than a permanent installment in our home, and now my holiday season has an official end: the day he leaves.  Always before, I was content—determined, even—to keep my tree and my carols and my lights going as long as would be permitted by Husband, the neighbors, and local laws.  But when I hugged Private Squdgee Booboo goodbye (and went right back to bed because his flight was at bullshit o’clock) I had no further desire to light the tree.  It’s not that I’m over Christmas, it’s just… it all looks sort of sad now that he’s not here.  Like a Who house after the Grinch left; all hooks and wire and crumbs.

(How the Grinch Stole Christmas) sad Who house, all stripped bare of Christmas cheer and decor following a visit from the Grinch; wires and scraggly bits of tinsel hang from hooks and the hearth is bare

 

 

Ooh, I know!  I’m meant to tell you what was in that cleverly wrapped gift for Offspring.

Long, triangular prism shaped gift wrapped in sheet music paper, with burgundy bow

 

First off, as we established in the comments, it was not a giant Toblerone.  Though that was a popular guess.

 

ME:  Did you see how I wrapped this?
HIM:  Oh, is that the…?
ME:  Yep!
HIM:  Just in the box, huh?
ME:  … Yeah, why?
HIM:  He’s gonna think it’s a giant Toblerone.
ME:  I know, right?
HIM:  He’ll pick it up and shake it.
ME:  … Then I’ll say, “Stop!  You’ll break it!”  And he’ll think for sure it’s a Toblerone.
HIM:  (shakes head, laughs)

 

 

Sure enough, Christmas morning…

 

 

OFFSPRING:  (picks up oddly-shaped gift, waves it around)  It looks like a Toblerone.
ME:  C—
HIM:  Careful!
ME:  (glares)
HIM:  Don’t wave it around, just open it.

 

 

My husband, the ruiner.

 

Anyway, it was not a giant Toblerone, because I’d got word that Santa was going to be stuffing his stocking full of mini Toblerones (which he could more easily snack on or pack as he chose) but rather… THIS:

Box (containing "100 Movies Scratch off Bucket List" poster) being investigated by photo-bombing miniature lion

Hamilton not included

 

Which is a thing I found while I was compiling my 2018 Gift Guide and just had to get him.  See, a few years back Husband and I realized we were relying too much on “teachers” to provide his critical education.  Now, school is a fine place to learn all about math and art and literature and history, but a well-rounded human also knows every pop culture reference going at least two generations back and appreciates music from a variety of eras.  Thus his film and music education became the primary focus of our summers.  Now that he’s moved out, pays his own bills, and generally has to get on without me he’s got a scratch-off poster telling him what to do.

 

There are loads more things I want to tell you about, really—including a house/inspection stuff update, a possible Meth Ghost update, and an adorable new game Alexander Hamilton plays, but I’m way too fuckin’ tired and I think I just sneezed out actual brain tissue, so I’m gonna go back to bed.

 

Let’s try again next week, m’kay?

(Ferris Bueller's Day Off) Cameron in bed, sick, declares, "I'm dying."

 

 

 

 

* not one who fills our house with blood, thank goodness, but… look, it’s an expression.

 

 

 

Advertisements

11 comments on “2019: In With a Sniffle

  1. rachaelstray says:

    That is a brilliant idea for a gift and you’re so right about popular culture education! Hope you’re feeling better soon. Our decorations come down this weekend and my husband is really ill with man flu at the moment!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful gift. Makes me curious how many I’ve seen as well. Sorry you’ve caught that horrible bug… It was a doozy and lingered at our house for weeks. Hope you kick it to the curb soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s one of the great things about it – I checked and almost everyone can check off at least a few of them straightaway. Others are movies I’ve had on my “I know I need to see that” list for ever, so it’s right there staring at you every day, reminding you to step up.

      Like

  3. Bex says:

    Were they really mini Toblerones or were they just normal sized Toblerones that looked mini in comparison to the fake one?? I feel like this is a very important detail.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. emmaclaire says:

    Isn’t the holiday let-down different when they all go away at the end of it? I don’t like it, at the same time that I am more than ready for them to take their wet towels and beer habits ($$$!) on back home. Who was it who introduced them to the joys of designer breweries? Mistake…

    Hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s