It Begins…


I’m about to hit Publish on part one of the promised updates, but I wanted to offer one last explanation/warning before you read on:


Shit gets heavy, and I’m sorry about that.  Also, I do not approach my grief, the family drama, or anyone’s illness with the reverence or dignity that some people would likely prefer.  If you are one of those people, you are encouraged to skip the next few posts and wait for me to give an official All Clear announcement.  I will make inappropriate jokes here because I made them in hospital rooms to actual sick people.  Because that’s who I am.  I make no apologies for it.


I don’t know how many parts the “catch up series” will take; I thought I did, when I started, but I just had to take an emotional health break from part 4 (I was shaking and it got too hard) and I haven’t even explained something I meant to get to in the first one so… we’ll see?  Then again, I might find that I can wrap it all up quickly once I get past that worst bit.  Who knows?  Anyway, read ’em, don’t read ’em, binge ’em when they’re all up… you do you.  I just need to purge and keep the blogging muscles toned and this is my compromise.


One last point: this is not a work of fiction.  There is no clear hero, nor a villain.  There are people I love, people I loathe, and most often they are the same damned person.  Sometimes I fuck up, because the fact that it’s my story doesn’t mean I always make the right choices.  Relationships will seem complicated, confusing, and you may find yourself asking, “wait… doesn’t she hate him/her?”  Please understand that the answer to that question is complicated and ever-evolving and even I don’t have all the up-to-the minute answers.  Motives are murky, and I’m left puzzling over questions of personal gain and thought processes more than once.  But that’s life, you know?

13 comments on “It Begins…

  1. Jack Herlocker says:

    I’m not claiming to speak for your entire readership (but I got here first, so you all chime “ditto” or “ignore that jerk” as you see fit) but it’s your blog, Chase, and your rules, and if you want to make this a chance to get a bunch of crap off your chest and your mind, go for it. But know that people are reading you. People are reading you, and relating to you, and thinking “Damn she’s strong!” or “Wow, I’d never have the nerve to do that!” or “I might have handled that better… maybe not, though…” or “DAMN I wish I could give you a hug right now!” And when you’re ready to talk about meth ghosts or post cute cat photos of Alexander Hamilton, we’ll be here. It’s all good. 💚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Rivergirl says:

    First off…. ditto what Jack said. Blog ranting has saved my sanity more than once and purging is cathartic. We’re all on this ride together. Do what you need to do.
    Secondly… is it wrong that I’m actually looking forward to the series?
    Not that I’ll enjoy or revel in your pain, but I’m an inappropriate soul as well so I’ll probably relate.

    Liked by 2 people

    • While I was out there this last time, I met up with a friend who is still dealing with her parents’ estate nearly a decade after their deaths. Because Money and Bitches. We went out to dinner and cried into our fajitas about the unfairness of it all, and somehow, even though she’s got the story about how bad things can get after they’re dead, she still ended up feeling better for having heard about how fucked-up my situation was. Because no matter how bad your family is, someone else has it worse.

      So if nothing else, my rants might help someone (hell, who are we kidding? A lot of people) see how much worse it could be.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Sherry Bucalo says:

    I can’t help but giggle at the fact that you would believe anyone who has read more than one post on this blog, could somehow think most anything you do would be appropriate, heck if it was we wouldn’t be reading it. Vent away and ditto the other 2

    Liked by 2 people

  4. My dad passed away 3 years ago, it was the one of the hardest, most awkward, strangest things I’ve ever been through. Losing a parent is hard, but the weird part was how my immediate family reacted. We joke, we say inappropriate things, we got numerous looks from other family, doctors and even the funeral home when we told them we’d just “brown bag” my dad after he was cremated, no urn needed. Yeah, it was hard we were all grieving in our own ways, but apparently saying really messed up stuff makes us feel better. It’s good to know it’s not just us that are kinda wacky

    Liked by 2 people

    • I pointed out to Nikki the Funeral Lady that dead people don’t care if their feet get wet. She was soooooper uncomfortable with me after that, but she quit pushing the goddamned ultra-platinum liner. MAYBE I WANT THE BUGGIES TO FEAST, NIKKI!

      (And this is why I put up that sensitivity warning, lol)

      Liked by 2 people

  5. On the subject of reverence and dignity … After the Hubbit ran over himself with a tractor (I wrote about that a bit before last Christmas) I lifted his hospital gown and took a picture. I didn’t think anyone would believe the sheer grotesquerie of the gigantic swollen purpleness under there without visual evidence. But then I didn’t include the picture in my blog post. So I guess we’re on the same page.

    Okay … Plunging into the update now!

    Liked by 2 people

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