Offspring is adapting well to his new environment, in spite of there being little enough to like and less time to notice it.
Of course, as a mommy I don’t enjoy hearing that those beautiful mountains are lobbing rockets at him every goddamned night.
ME: How’s it going?
OFFSPRING: Rockets made it over the wall last night.
OFFSPRING: So now the building with the good TV’s has a couple holes in it. Swear to God, if they damaged the TV’s I’ma straight commit a hate crime.
ME: Good to see you’re keeping your spirits up.
OFFSPRING: They’re really big TV’s, mom.
As an amateur blogger and semi-professional sarcastic bitch, I’m super proud of how well he’s handling the fact that the sky over his head literally explodes while he’s trying to sleep the deep and marginally sufficient sleep of the overworked and underpaid.
I suppose I should be grateful he hasn’t yet been outside when it started to rain shrapnel… mostly I’m grateful that I raised him right, and I am now rewarded with moments like this:
OFFSPRING: I got one of those “Windows Tech Support” scam calls.
ME: In Afghanistan?
OFFSPRING: They don’t know where I am.
ME: Did you tell them?
OFFSPRING: No… It came in right as the IDF sirens went off.
ME: (laughs) That must’ve shocked him.
OFFSPRING: I kind of went with it. He said he was “Steve” with Windows and the sirens went WHOOP WHOOP ATTENTION! INCOMING! INCOMING! INCOMING! ATTENTION! And then BOOM
OFFSPRING: So I yelled, “WHO IS THIS? IS THIS COLONEL O’NEILL? WE’RE TAKING FIRE AT THIS LOCATION, CALL FOR IMMEDIATE EVAC! WE’RE PINNED DOWN, REPEAT WE ARE PINNED DOWN REQUESTING—AAAAAGGHHHH!”
ME: (hysterical laughter)
OFFSPRING: I don’t know why I went with O’Neill, it was just… I got stuck on Stargate, I guess.
ME: (laughs harder)
OFFSPRING: He screamed and hung up.
ME: I love you kid.
 The good TV’s were fine, and the building was patched within hours. IDF has stepped up to 2-3 times a night now that the nights are getting longer, which has the unintended (I’m sure… they couldn’t possibly have heard about me yet) consequence of making me crabby.