My Liar

  Though we haven’t met, we’ve been together long enough now that you’ve formed certain impressions of me.   You are, for example, aware of my flair for the dramatic.   You might have correctly assumed, from my passionate departure from the world each autumn, that dressing up and doing creepy shit is literally what […]

My Forrest

  If you don’t follow me on Instagram you should go fix that right now because I’m not retelling all the same stories and jokes here. And I’m certainly not reposting all the pictures.*   But if you found your way here from Instagram?** Welcome, and I promise not to I’ll try not to scare […]

It’s My Birfday!

  I noticed none of you mentioned, but this weekend is a Very Special weekend.  Some might argue—quite rightly—that it’s the most special weekend in the whole calendar year.  And you were just going to let it go completely unremarked-upon.   Y’all.   IT’S MAH BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!!!   That’s right, it’s that magical time of […]

Something About Fudge

  Audrey’s famous Friendsmas party and cookie exchange is this weekend, which means we’ve got a sitter for the pets (a new one—you know her, actually… she’s the cultist from this story and sometimes I think they like her more than me) and we’re making the drive up to Wisconsin.  Which seems like a lot […]

His Fluffer

  As I mentioned last week, my friend’s epic birthday party gave us an excuse for a mini road trip.    I know some people avoid long drives, but our relationship more or less began in the car—that sounded dirty, but I swear only everything else I say is—and so for us a long drive […]