URGENT ASSISTANCE REQUIRED

 

Quickly, because this is kind of urgent: am I required to wear actual clothes to a belated holiday/new year’s party?  I’ve got one last excuse to wear jingle bells and glitter coming up—because my friend Audrey totally gets me and is almost as bad at calendaring* as I am—and Husband and I were just discussing what I could reasonably get away with wearing.

 

light-up christmas tree hat with pom-pom ornaments

Obviously this hat is a must.

 

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On Human Trapping (My Skyrim Valentine)

 

The fine art of entrapment may be verboten in the world of law enforcement, but I’m here to tell you that it’s a vital component if you expect your marriage to be at all humorous.  Sure, some people strive for peaceful, happy, harmonious, mutually beneficial marriages… but I think they must not understand what they’re missing.

 

boring family sits on couch, bored

 

If you’re sensing one of those posts where I ramble a bit, and have to jump back and forth to properly tell the story, congratulations on the paying attention thing!  But no, this time I’ve actually got my shit together, and there’s a point easily made.  Come along, readers – trust me.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!