Let’s Keep Halloween for ADULTS!

 

You may have noticed you’re only getting one this week.

 

That’s because it’s Halloween, dammit!  Why are you reading blogs when there’s spooky outside?

photo of the sun with flares in the shape of jack-o'-lantern grin

Even the SUN is getting spooki.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!

What’s WRONG With People??

 

Here is a thing I do not understand.  And I know from reading the comments that some of you[1] do not enjoy haunted houses, so I put it to you:

 

Why do people who paid for the privilege of being scared get all aggressive about the fact that they got what they paid for?

 

Haunted house customer (on Ellen) flailing and shouting "STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!"

That’s not your safe word.

 

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My Gym Rat

 

This week contains my last few “normal” days before I begin terrorizing the citizens of St. Louis every single night,[1] which means I’m spending whatever little bits of time I can with Husband—cuddling, sitting with him while he finally watches Mindhunter,[2] and taking care of some projects we foolishly put off until the least convenient season.

 

Yes, I really want to tell you about one of them, but I can’t.  It’s too big (and not at a shareable stage yet).  We’ll get there, I promise.

 

But my altered schedule makes my nightly call with Offspring easier; most nights I just call him when I’m on my way home to wash the blood out of my hair.[3]

(Ready or Not) Bride in torn, burned, bloody wedding dress, covered in blood spatter, hair matted with blood and grit, giggles.

 

Don’t stop now – keep reading!