That One Plot Device

 

Hauntings season is (basically) over, which means Husband and I are spending quality time having weird-ass conversations for your benefit.

Stephen Colbert: Welcome to the nerd zone, my friend

I mean, we’d have them whether I had a blog or not, obviously… but you do benefit from reading about them so here’s a thing that happened yesterday—enjoy!

 

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My Gym Rat

 

This week contains my last few “normal” days before I begin terrorizing the citizens of St. Louis every single night,[1] which means I’m spending whatever little bits of time I can with Husband—cuddling, sitting with him while he finally watches Mindhunter,[2] and taking care of some projects we foolishly put off until the least convenient season.

 

Yes, I really want to tell you about one of them, but I can’t.  It’s too big (and not at a shareable stage yet).  We’ll get there, I promise.

 

But my altered schedule makes my nightly call with Offspring easier; most nights I just call him when I’m on my way home to wash the blood out of my hair.[3]

(Ready or Not) Bride in torn, burned, bloody wedding dress, covered in blood spatter, hair matted with blood and grit, giggles.

 

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It’s Gotta Be The Sand

 

While my weird hours leave me almost no time for Husband, they do make it much more convenient for me to chat with Offspring; I’m not staying up for him anymore, if anything he’s staying up for me.

 

Which means I’ve got more info on the life of PFC Squdgee Booboo than I do on your favorite engineer.

 

And I’m sure you won’t be surprised which one is currently experiencing overwhelming job dissatisfaction.

army meme: Jumps out of a perfectly good aircraft with a parachute packed by a 19 year old; forced to wear a reflective belt while raking dirt. (pair of soldiers raking dirt in hi-vis safety belts)

 

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How Do YOU Ikea?

 

One of the best things about living where we do is the convenience: literally anything we want is available in this city, somewhere, and most of it can be found at more or less any time and any day of the week.  This creates an embarrassment of riches that finally gives me a way to make my naturally skinny—but less geographically gifted—friends jealous.

(The Simpsons) Mr Burns tapping his fingertips together, grins evilly and says, "Excellent!"

 

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