That One Plot Device

 

Hauntings season is (basically) over, which means Husband and I are spending quality time having weird-ass conversations for your benefit.

Stephen Colbert: Welcome to the nerd zone, my friend

I mean, we’d have them whether I had a blog or not, obviously… but you do benefit from reading about them so here’s a thing that happened yesterday—enjoy!

 

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My Withdrawal

 

I debated telling you about this.  It’s not my usual sort of thing at all.

 

But then I remembered that time I got the disastrous Botox injections that melted my face and made my migraines worse; specifically, I thought about all the people who commented on that post, or contacted me about it, and all the people whose heartbreaking search terms lead them to it every week.  I thought about that and I thought, “I wish someone had told me five years ago what I know now!”

 

The decision sort of made itself after that.

 

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My Gym Rat

 

This week contains my last few “normal” days before I begin terrorizing the citizens of St. Louis every single night,[1] which means I’m spending whatever little bits of time I can with Husband—cuddling, sitting with him while he finally watches Mindhunter,[2] and taking care of some projects we foolishly put off until the least convenient season.

 

Yes, I really want to tell you about one of them, but I can’t.  It’s too big (and not at a shareable stage yet).  We’ll get there, I promise.

 

But my altered schedule makes my nightly call with Offspring easier; most nights I just call him when I’m on my way home to wash the blood out of my hair.[3]

(Ready or Not) Bride in torn, burned, bloody wedding dress, covered in blood spatter, hair matted with blood and grit, giggles.

 

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How Do YOU Ikea?

 

One of the best things about living where we do is the convenience: literally anything we want is available in this city, somewhere, and most of it can be found at more or less any time and any day of the week.  This creates an embarrassment of riches that finally gives me a way to make my naturally skinny—but less geographically gifted—friends jealous.

(The Simpsons) Mr Burns tapping his fingertips together, grins evilly and says, "Excellent!"

 

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