That One Plot Device


Hauntings season is (basically) over, which means Husband and I are spending quality time having weird-ass conversations for your benefit.

Stephen Colbert: Welcome to the nerd zone, my friend

I mean, we’d have them whether I had a blog or not, obviously… but you do benefit from reading about them so here’s a thing that happened yesterday—enjoy!


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Ready or Not: My Favorite DELETED Scenes

Ready or Not movie banner features tagline: "A killer game of hide and seek"

Ooh, it’s been a minute since I did one of these, hasn’t it?


Look, it’s not that I haven’t been to films, or that they haven’t been worth our time… it’s more that there’s a recent trend[1] to give away less of the actual film in the trailer.  More, “here’s your premise, are you interested?” and less, “here’s a showcase of scenes you can expect that basically serve as an outline for the whole damned plot—wouldn’t want you to accuse us of a twist or anything, haha!”  In the former case, I hate to bring spoilers in the form of even Deleted Scenes.


Ready or Not is another animal entirely.  Poor misunderstood film… I’ve seen reviewers calling it a horror and—as a paid ambassador of the horror industry—I’m disappointed in their spatter-based  assumption.  This was clearly a Gory Comedy, fraternal twin and kindred spirit to the Dark Comedy (which produced such lovable favorites as War of the Roses and Burn After Reading.)[2]


If you’re the sort of person who has to leave the room when your favorite character gets stitches in any other film, I give you leave to skip this one.


If, on the other hand, you’re the sort of person who is intrigued when I say you will laugh your ass off every time someone dies?  Stop what you’re doing immediately and go see Ready or Not.


Then come back and check out these excellent Deleted Scenes which, sadly, didn’t quite make the… cut.

(Ready or Not) the Family gather, holding lanterns and weapons


I’ll see myself out.


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MiB International: My Favorite DELETED SCENES


MiB International

If you’re a fan of conspiracy theories, or sexually motivated aliens, or monochromatic swagger, then you’ve probably already seen Men in Black: International.


But you haven’t seen the deleted scenes… yet.


My darlings, I went to bat for every single one of these gems.  I begged, pleaded, and—I’m not proud—offered myself to Chris Hemsworth to get these scenes into the theatrical release.  But I was overruled… and escorted out of the building, because apparently forging a security pass is a “serious offense” or whatever.


They can’t erase my memories!*  Or my notes, which I scribbled furiously for your benefit.  So here, in no particular order, are my favorite deleted scenes from Men in Black: International


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Avengers Endgame: My Favorite DELETED SCENES


First off, endless apologies for the delay in getting these deleted scenes to your eyeballs.  You’d think I spent the extra time stealing the film canisters (or at the very least animating or otherwise recreating them for you*) but no; as those of you who follow me on the book of faces know, I’ve been up to my tits in family drama and then recovering from said family drama.  I’m actually sat here typing out an apology to you instead of showering, if that brings you any comfort.**


By now every last one of you has seen Avengers: Endgame.  But what you haven’t seen—because only I and a handful of people who were there when these gems hit the cutting room floor—are the epic deleted scenes that would never see the light of day if not for a certain loudmouth blogger who takes notes everywhere she goes.  Now, obviously I had to promise not to tell you about all of them—got to save something for the extended cut blu ray and all that—but here are a few of my favorites; the ones that got me through the really tough times these past weeks (like sitting in a sub-arctic theatre for three hours with a four-gallon beverage cup, knowing neither theatre nor cup would ever empty enough for me to do what needed to be done.  I should’ve ordered more popcorn.)


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Captain Marvel: My Favorite DELETED SCENES


Captan Marvel poster featuring Captain Marvel, Nick Fury, and Yon-Rogg against a backdrop of futuristic cities, modern human jets, and explosions in space


Set aside your fears of girl power* and grunge, because the time has come to reveal my favorite deleted scenes from Captain Marvel, a film which features:




As always, these are deleted scenes, so if you haven’t seen the film yet (totally understandable, I won’t judge… unless you wait another week, then I’m judging you like woah) you won’t find any spoilers here.


I still haven’t forgiven Jake for spoiling The Force Awakens;*** I would never do that to you.


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Flat Earth


One of our favorite things—which you’d probably never guess unless you really know us—is stupid people and the shit they do for our entertainment.


Specifically, we will mockwatch* conspiracy shows,** documentaries about epic failure… whatever Netflix generously provides for our consumption.  (And it’s a lot.  Someone go thank them for all the good work they do—I’m busy drunk watching some bridezilla bitches scream about sequins)


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What I Do For Him


I make a thing out of Husband and his nerdery* around here, so it would be the easiest thing for you** to assume that I never share in his nonsense.  You might (quite reasonably!) assume that I am never the one to nerd all over our lunch date conversation, or make a terrible joke.


You might also assume that I didn’t eat a pound and a half of grapes yesterday, but then you’d be wrong about two things.


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